Homeschool Resource Guide

Gaining Confidence in Our Homeschooling

Throughout life, the more confidence we have in ourselves and in what we are doing, the more likely we are to succeed. As Henry Ford put it, "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't—you're right."

Confidence is especially important in a choice like homeschooling where we're going against the dominant culture, without the support and reassurance that comes from doing what almost everyone else is doing. In addition, the more confident we are, the better able we are to maintain our homeschooling freedoms. We are better able to convince others that homeschooling works, that homeschoolers do not need to be tested or unnecessarily regulated by the state. We are less tempted to seek assistance or reassurance from conventional schools.

This article will discuss reasons to have confidence in our homeschooling, why it is sometimes difficult to develop and maintain confidence, and how we can increase our confidence.

Reasons for Feeling Confident.

What basis do we homeschoolers have for being confident?

Homeschooling works! It works very well for parents and children to live and learn together, as shown by thousands of families who are now homeschooling and thousands of grown homeschoolers.

Homeschooling works because children learn well with the help and guidance of parents who know them well and care deeply about them. They can learn at their own pace, when they are ready and eager, so learning is easier. They can spend extra time on things that especially interest them, which motivates them. They often discover interests that lead to their life's work. They do not have to deal with disruptive schedules that interrupt their learning, peer pressure, humiliation or failing grades if they make a mistake or haven't learned something yet, teachers who do not understand or appreciate their strengths, a curriculum that does not suit their needs, approaches to learning that do not work for them, and other inevitable parts of standardized schools run by the government and designed to try to educate many children at once, regardless of their individual differences.

People who think that learning through homeschooling is difficult have it backwards. Learning is more difficult in a conventional school than at home and in the community. Children attending conventional schools are taken away from their families at very young ages. They are put in a building where very little real work happens (except for what the janitor and the lunchroom staff do). Despite this, unrealistically large groups of children are expected to be interested in and ready to learn the same things at the same time. With very little support or guidance from older and more experienced people, children are expected to figure out how to survive in a highly competitive environment. Since conventional schools have become the norm in our society, it's no wonder that many people think that learning is very difficult and requires specially trained adults.

But as homeschoolers we know that although learning is sometimes challenging and frustrating, basically it's an activity that children (and adults) are good at when they are at home and in their communities, facing the challenges of daily life, and when they have support and encouragement of people who love and care about them. Consider the complexity of learning to talk. Babies have to differentiate speech from other sounds they hear, figure out what various sounds mean, and learn to make them. Yet babies do this all the time, in an amazingly short time, with no specially trained teachers.

In short, children are great natural learners, especially if they have not had their confidence undermined by conventional schools OR if they have had the opportunity to recover from school. (So don't worry if your child attended school. Children are amazingly resilient.)

Some of us receive confidence and strength from our religious beliefs, from the higher power that we believe in, and from the power of prayer. This is especially true because many families find that their principles, values, and beliefs lead them to choose homeschooling in the first place. In addition, homeschooling gives us many outstanding opportunities to share our beliefs and values with our children.

As homeschoolers we get a lot of very helpful feedback from our children. We don't have to wait for tests results at the end of the week to find out whether our children understood what we were working on. We can tell immediately by the looks on their faces and the questions they ask. If we try something that just doesn't work (which some people might call "making a mistake"), we can modify it or try something else right away.

We can have confidence because we are capable people, regardless of what schools may have tried to tell us. Think how many children learn to read or do math or conduct experiments without the help of textbook or teacher. Think how much we know about driving safely that goes beyond what we learned in drivers ed. Think how much more we know about cooking and feeding our families than we learned in any home ec classes we may have had. Think how much more we know about how the world works and the current political situation than was covered in civics class. Think how much we've learned about homeschooling!

As parents who love our children, pay attention to them, listen to them, and enjoy them, we'll do a good job of providing the space and support our children need to grow well. Of course, we'll make mistakes. We won't do everything right. But one of the great things about homeschooling is that we have time, more time with our children than do parents whose children attend conventional schools. We have time to make mistakes, figure out what went wrong, make amends, and move forward.

Why Is It Sometimes Difficult to Have Confidence in Ourselves and Our Homeschooling?

Given all the good reasons to have confidence, why is it sometimes difficult to develop and maintain confidence?

Many people in our society tend to rely heavily on experts and professionals rather than on their own knowledge, ability, and common sense and what they learn from other "ordinary" people they know well.

Even when we do seek and find help from an expert, it is important to keep an accurate perspective on what we have done ourselves and not give too much credit to the expert. Both our general health and our ability to heal from an illness or injury are much more dependent on factors such as what we eat, how much exercise we get, our general attitude toward life, and our genetic inheritance than they are on what a doctor says or does or what medications are prescribed. Children who are supposedly taught to read in school learn to read less because of what their teachers do and more because of the experiences they have had outside of school, grasping fundamental principles of language through learning to understand and speak, learning to recognize and remember shapes by seeing signs and putting together puzzles, and wanting to learn to read because they've seen other people read and they want to make sense of all those squiggles, too.

It is difficult to develop and maintain our confidence as homeschoolers because so few people understand homeschooling (which can be difficult to understand without having personal experience). Therefore, many non-homeschoolers question our ability to help our children learn. Their lack of confidence in us undermines our confidence.

Our own school experiences often undermine our confidence, even if we were "good students." By their very existence, schools say, "You can't figure out things for yourself. You have to have someone show you what to learn, make you learn it, and test you to find out whether you really learned it." They operate on the assumption that there is a body of factual information that everyone needs to learn at a specific age, that there are "right answers" that are the only acceptable ones, and that experts are needed to provide the right answers because ordinary people cannot. Schools do not encourage people to figure things out for themselves and come up with their own answers (although some exercises are designed to lead children to "discover" a predetermined answer). Working cooperatively with other students is often called "cheating," and you wouldn't want to cooperate with others anyway because then they might get better grades than you do. Schools do a great deal to destroy our confidence.

How Can We Increase Our Confidence?

Realize that confidence isn't a matter of having all the answers. It's a matter of knowing that when something happens, we'll be able to deal with it.

Keeping simple records shows us dramatically how we and our children are learning and provides great perspective when we are beset by doubts.

Before we look something up, we can ask, "What do I think or know about this? What can I figure out for myself?" To be sure, following directions can save time, and we don't need to constantly reinvent the wheel. But when we create our own recipes and games, our confidence grows. Similarly, when we encourage our children to develop their own ways of washing the dishes or solving math problems, their confidence grows.

Remember that our task is to create our own unique homeschool that meets the needs and celebrates the strengths of our family. Sometimes it's intimidating to hear what other homeschooling families are doing, especially since many of them focus on one activity and excel. The Smiths don't just gather around the fireplace to sing on Saturday nights. They've all learned to play at least three instruments and are about to make their first CD. Of course, we can't do what they do, but they can't do what we do, either. When we realize that we are in the best position to create the unique homeschool that will work best for our family, and we set about doing just that, our confidence grows.

At the same time, discussing our questions and experiences with other homeschoolers can boost our confidence. We can meet them at support group meetings and homeschooling conferences. We can read about them in this magazine and other homeschooling literature. It helps enormously to find out that other homeschooling parents have doubts, feel "stuck" at times, maybe even want to quit.

Turning to our principles and beliefs, the source of our strength and courage, increases our confidence.

If we decide we really need to consult a professional or an expert, we can keep our experience in perspective. If children break their arms, we take them to a doctor who has been gaining experience in setting broken bones while we've been gaining experience in parenting and homeschooling. To be sure, the doctor sets the bones, but the cast only holds the bones in place so they can grow back together. The real healing is done by our children, not the doctor. Similarly, when someone helps us learn something, they are pointing the way, providing examples, answering questions, and helping us gain the confidence we need. But the actual learning goes on inside our brains; we haven't really learned until we have created our own knowledge. So we can thank people who help and support us, but it is important to remember that the learner plays the most important role in learning.

We can help our children develop confidence by respecting their natural confidence, listening to their ideas, setting an example by increasing our own confidence, and encouraging them to solve problems themselves.

Why not deliberately engage in activities like these to develop our confidence, just as many people exercise to develop health?

Conclusion

The more we homeschooling parents work to increase our own confidence, the better able we will be to homeschool and the more secure our homeschooling freedoms will be, simply because we will be much less tempted to turn to state tests or school officials for reassurance that we are doing the right thing. But more importantly, the more confident we are, the more opportunities our children have to develop their own confidence. And confidence is one of the greatest gifts we can give them.

The Foundations on Which We Build

In the last issue of the Greenhouse Report, I outlined the general, face-to-the-public organizational structure of NCHE. In this issue, I would like to dig a little deeper. I would like to talk about the people who have forged our North Carolina homeschooling road and cut the pattern of the fabric of homeschooling which we now wear. You probably know some of them. They are found in many different places in the state, and some even serve on the board of NCHE. They are the experienced people you have come to depend on for an opinion when you have homeschooling concerns.

The community of homeschooling that we see today has not always existed. Foundations in North Carolina were laid by courageous people who faced a lot of trials and persecution. At the risk of sounding dramatic, these people were paying a price for homeschooling freedoms before many of us even thought of having children. These forerunners now act as “elders,” if you will, for the rest of us.

In the early days of NC homeschooling, there were fears that don’t exist today. Many parents were actually arrested for not sending their children to a conventional school, while others hid from authorities and even neighbors for fear of prosecution. Twenty years ago, families did not dare take their school-aged children outside their homes during school hours. (Now no one feels the need to hide in their homes, and we all pretty much do what we want.) While there were some curriculum materials specifically for homeschoolers available, the choices were very limited and often parents used standard Christian School materials (if the companies would sell to them) or books from the public library. We really need to stop and consider how blessed we are by the almost unending supply of quality materials from which we can choose today.

Even though DNPE had allowed homeschools to operate legally by banding together to form private schools, many feared that the rules might change suddenly, and the state would already know where to come to arrest them. In those days, because these pioneers felt that there was a need for statewide representation, NCHE was formed. Its members maintained a low profile and sought leaders who, because of their family situations, would not face prosecution. One of the main purposes for the existence of such an organization was to design and execute a way for families to legally homeschool their children.

The NCHE board of directors consisted of some of the finest people in homeschooling. They were hard working and extremely dedicated, a unique breed. These people were not afraid to take responsibility or stand in the line of fire, and they were really passionate about homeschooling and homeschoolers. They were willing to put the desires of others above their own; so much so, that they put their own families in jeopardy. These are most definitely the pioneers for our state!

These pioneers now serve in an advisory capacity for the rest of us because of their experience in the broad spectrum of homeschooling and because of the sheer number of years they have homeschooled. These are the people to whom we all turn when we need to see the big picture—when we need to examine our history and learn from it. With no offense intended to our elders, having them with us during our tenure is a bit like having your great grandfather teaching you what he has learned from life.

Those who forged the pathway on which we walk are passing down a great heritage to us. We owe them honor and respect for fighting to get our North Carolina homeschooling law passed. For our own best interest, we need to honor these pioneers as we continue to add chapters to this book of homeschooling. We are legally homeschooling, and not fighting battles for it, because of these men and women. What we build must add to the foundation they have laid.

NCHE still exists today to help maintain the legality of homeschooling. Since we have a law in place, the responsibilities of this mandate don’t look like they used to, but the primary purpose of NCHE is still to protect the freedom to educate children at home, to provide encouragement and support to families choosing home education for their children and to promote home education as an excellent educational alternative.

Finally, because we want to give honor where honor is due, we will be awarding special ribbons to each of these pioneering homeschoolers at our conference in May. We will recognize as many as are there, but we want to honor all of our pioneer homeschoolers, whether they are at the conference or not. If you know of someone who has pioneered homeschooling in North Carolina and has been homeschooling for twenty years or more, please send us their name. You can write to Hope Brown at or to Nancy St. Marie at When you see someone with a Pioneer Homeschooler ribbon at the conference, take time to thank them. By remembering and honoring our forefathers (and mothers!), we will maintain our surefootedness as we go forward.

How NCHE Works

In every effective organization, there is structure. Many times the strong, supporting structure of a group is not even visible to the naked eye, and the only indication of the structure may be the effectiveness of the organization. In a family, business or church, there is at least some degree of administration operating. Your homeschool has an administrator. A business or an office has a manager who makes sure that the business keeps moving forward. In a church there is an individual or group who takes a leadership role to watch over the verve and direction of the church. In order to maintain efficiency, each of these entities must also have clear communication. The simple truth is that without organizational structure and good communication, no entity is effective or vital.

Organizational Structure

The structural organization of NCHE is somewhat different than other boards with which people may be familiar. NCHE has a working, volunteer board made up of twenty-two voting positions. There are seven state-elected board positions, twelve regional directors, and one to three advisors. The state elected positions are president, treasurer, secretary, administrative vice president, education vice president, legislative vice president and conference vice president.

The president chairs all the meetings. He is the spokesperson for NCHE and the liaison between NCHE and the Division of Non-Public Education. He also makes sure that everyone is doing his job. The administrative vice president coordinates the activities of the regional directors to make sure that they are informed about board actions and helps them work to strengthen and start support groups in their area. He also plans the leadership conferences to help assist support group leaders in their roles. The education vice president keeps the membership abreast of studies related to home education and provides them with information to help with homeschooling. The person in this position also oversees the Greenhouse Report and NCHE website. The legislative vice president makes sure that the members of NCHE and the board are kept abreast of legislative trends and bills that might affect home education. The conference vice president is responsible for all the arrangements for the Annual Conference and Book Fair and reports progress to the board at each meeting. NCHE also has a staffed office located in Raleigh that takes care of a majority of the daily business.

The regional directors are the links to the homeschooling community in North Carolina. There are twelve regions which were originally formed based on legislative districts in the state at that time. These directors are charged with representing homeschoolers in their region at board meetings, as well as reporting board proceedings back to support group leaders in order to keep the membership informed of what is going on. They also work with the legislative committee in coordinating legislative contacts in each region. They act as a liaison between support groups in the region and the administrative vice president, encourage new membership in NCHE and assist in the development of new support groups.

Board Meetings

The NCHE year starts at the conference—on Saturday morning when we introduce the new board at the keynote session. We have our first board meeting of the year at the conference that day to elect a parliamentarian and try to set meeting dates for the remainder of the year. With so many board members involved, planning meetings sometimes gets tricky. Typically board meetings are held: two weeks after the conference, the middle to end of August (a 2½ day planning retreat), the first weekends of November, February, and April and at the conference. We meet for the last time of the year at the conference on Thursday or Friday. At this meeting the outgoing board elects the advisors.

The spouses of each board member are invited to attend our meetings and give input. Not all spouses choose to be involved, but we still may have thirty to forty people at a regularly scheduled board meeting. This means that we must locate a big room! For the most part we meet in churches, which generously allow us to use their facilities free of charge. We meet on Saturdays, for about eight hours. Board members live all over North Carolina and drive anywhere from one to six hours to attend meetings. Usually the meetings are held in Winston-Salem, closest to the middle of the state, but occasionally we meet in or near Raleigh.

Agenda

According to our by-laws we all receive an agenda via email a week ahead of the meeting. We can then add items of importance or suggest changes necessary due to time constraints or special needs. The typical agenda begins with the approval of the minutes from the previous meeting. (This usually goes smoothly, but occasionally can take significant time.) After the minutes, we usually move to reports from all vice presidential positions and committees. These reports can also be tedious and often spark great discussions.

After these reports come those of the twelve regional directors—the time of the meeting when we hear your voice. Regional directors are charged with hearing the praises, concerns and ideas of the major factor of the organization—you. During this time the board gets to hear what is going on in our state regarding homeschooling. We hear about new homeschoolers moving into the state, issues that support groups are having with their structure or anything that may be of interest to other groups in the state. We hear about new trends going on in the state and around the country and what people are saying about and wanting from NCHE. These reports keep us in touch with the 30,000 plus homeschoolers in the state. (By the way, during this time we hear from members and non-members.)

You

These reports are extremely important to all the parts of NCHE. Without this time the efforts of our organization would be in vain. North Carolinians for Home Education was formed to represent the homeschoolers of the state of North Carolina. This is the heart of the board and the structure instituted by the by-laws of the organization. We cannot exist without keeping abreast of the landscape of the state. This need is why we need and want to hear from you. The direction of the organization, and often homeschooling in this state, depends on what you have to say. All the structure in the world is no good if there is not good communication.

Our website is an invaluable resource for information. The main page can be found at www.nche.com. There is a listing of the board of directors and their contact information at . A copy of the bylaws for the organization can be found at . You can keep up with legislative issues, conference details and other things of interest, as well as happenings in your own area through the regional pages. There are also blogs and links to websites with pertinent homeschooling information. We are constantly updating the site and welcome input and ideas.

Computers and the Internet have drastically changed the way we do business. We use the Internet for mass mailings, like the E-brief and legislative alerts, which saves thousands of dollars in postage. We email information to each other before board meetings and have discussions via on-line chat. The website is the best way we know to get information to everyone—including people in other states—in as timely a manner as possible. Using these tools has often saved hours of driving and meeting time as well as money.

The bottom line is this: NCHE exists solely for its members. We, as the keepers of your statewide organization, need you to know that we are expecting your input. Sometimes it is easy to think that NCHE will just keep moving, and that the focus of the organization is the conference. Really, the focus of the organization is you. Every activity that goes on should be reflecting that. All the hours spent—organizing the conferences, working to keep the budget balanced, updating the website, maintaining contact with support group leaders, planning for the future or watching legislation—mean nothing without you. This sentiment may sound trite, but truly they are not just words. We welcome you to take time to email or call the office or the appropriate board member anytime you have something to say. We love serving you and our goal is to be thorough, accurate and effective in all that we do.

Why is NCHE an Open Organization?

Often I have the opportunity to speak with homeschoolers who have recently moved to or are preparing to move to North Carolina. Several of the folks I have spoken with are surprised to find that NCHE is an open group that doesn't require members to sign a statement of faith. I have explained that since the very beginning in 1984, NCHE has had a goal of promoting home education and supporting all North Carolina home educators, and therefore welcomes members of all religions. When they have asked about a Christian statewide group for North Carolina they have been surprised to learn that there is no other statewide group in North Carolina like NCHE. These reactions prompted me to look into statewide organizations in other states.

My research revealed that the situation in North Carolina is rather unusual. Some states don't have a statewide organization. Instead, they have two or more regional organizations. One state has three regional organizations, which are combined into one statewide organization. Some states even have two or more competing state organizations. Leaders in other states have pointed out the difficulty of dealing with state legislatures when various homeschool groups are not in agreement. Sometimes two state groups, which are seeking what they believe is the best for home educators, end up at odds with each other. This dissension dilutes their efforts in seeking better statutes and may result in laws that make homeschooling more difficult. Because we have only one statewide organization that is involved with the legislature, we have been able to speak with one voice. More than one member of the North Carolina General Assembly has told us that when NCHE members speak they listen.

Another difference between NCHE and groups in other states is that NCHE has a representative board of directors. Page two of each issue of the Greenhouse Report lists the volunteers who serve as the NCHE Board of Directors. There are twenty-two members including twelve regional directors. In addition to regional directors there is also a provision for alternate regional directors to insure each region of the state is adequately represented. NCHE Bylaws require a two-thirds majority vote to enact any motion. We believe that a plan that is supported by a large majority of board members from all parts of the state has a better chance of being sound. Many groups in other states have five or fewer board members who are appointed, not elected. Fewer board members can allow for quicker decisions, but there may be a large number of home educators not represented when decisions are made. This lack of representation increases the possibility of misunderstandings and conflicts among homeschoolers in the state. While NCHE has not operated free of conflict, the representative form of government under our current bylaws has helped to keep conflict among North Carolina homeschoolers to a minimum.

One fact seems to be true in every state: a large percentage of home educators are Christian. Since we don't ask about our members' religious affiliation, there is no way of knowing the exact number of Christians in the NCHE membership. However, it has been estimated that between 80% and 90% of North Carolina homeschoolers are Christian. This explains the Christian content in the Greenhouse Report, the Annual Conference and other NCHE functions and publications. However, NCHE leadership has recognized the significant and growing percentage of home educators who are not Christian. From the beginning, NCHE has held the position that it is best to have all home educators acting together for the common good, and that people of all faiths can work together to promote and protect homeschooling in North Carolina. The founders of the modern homeschool movement, Dr. Raymond and Dorothy Moore, and John Holt, did not share a common faith. They could not even agree on what constitutes basic human nature. However, they did share a passion for educating

NCHE Memories

I attended my first NCHE conference when my son was just two and my daughter was an infant. Though I felt ridiculous going when my children were still so far from being school-aged, my curiosity compelled me to go and see what homeschooling was all about. At that point, I was still questioning whether God would truly call me to this radical idea that I felt drawn to. How would this choice affect our family’s future, I wondered? The chance to see real homeschoolers in action was just too good to pass up! So off I went, and it was the best thing I could have done.

That first year was indeed eye-opening to me. I sat through preschool workshops and listened to experienced homeschoolers speak about why we should homeschool. I received discipline tips and caught a vision for doing parenting a bit differently than the rest of society. It was refreshing. It was challenging. It was humbling. It was overwhelming. It was everything I had thought it would be, and more. I was hooked!

I have only missed a few NCHE conferences since that first time. The years have flown by, and our family has grown. My love for the conference has grown as well. I love walking into that vast room full of great resources designed to encourage and equip us to raise godly children. I love catching up with old friends I meet in the aisles. As my daughter says, “We walk a few feet and talk for an hour!” I love hearing inspiring speakers deliver consistently excellent messages. I love receiving from God just one truth I need to hear, just one nugget that will serve me in the coming year. I love having so many things to discuss with my husband and getting on the same page during our time at the conference. I love getting equipped by God to stay the course in our quest to be different from the culture and turn out children that are different. Homeschooling isn’t easy, so it is nice to have one weekend to connect with the other people who know exactly what we are facing.

When I first started attending the NCHE conference, I came alone or with friends. I was not entirely sure we would choose this method of educating our children. I was not entirely sure my husband would ever get on board and catch the vision that God had given me. I was not entirely sure that my kids would not turn out weird, wacky and way out of touch if I did choose this method. I was not entirely sure I was equipped to carry the huge responsibility of their education. But God has been faithful to move me past all those doubts and insecurities and radically transform my character, our family and our marriage through homeschooling.

For many years, my husband refused to come with me to the conference. He told me that he was supporting me by keeping the kids so I could go. Though I tried to be content with that, my heart longed to share what I was experiencing with my spouse. I would try to explain how wonderful it was, but he just didn’t get it. And so, I went alone, all the while looking around enviously at all the good husbands who came with their wives.

This is not an article on the dangers of comparing your husband to other men, so I won’t go into that. I will just freely admit that it was a desire of my heart to have him there, and God heard my prayers. After much waiting and many years of attending alone, I was thrilled when God stirred his heart and gave him a desire to come just once. Now, he doesn’t miss it and looks forward to it as much as I do. I feel for those whose husbands do not come with them, as I know how beneficial it is to have your husband attend with you. I see what a family and marriage building experience it is for us each year, and I praise God that we can now enjoy the conference as a couple. If you are struggling with this issue, may I encourage you to persevere in praying for your husband? God can and will work on his heart according to His perfect timing.

This year’s conference is just around the corner. The anticipation is building at our house as we discuss what workshops we don’t want to miss and reminisce about our favorite speakers. (Hint: Mark Hamby is not to be missed!) Maybe that makes us geeks, but we don’t care! We are grateful for the opportunity to come together and renew our vision for this calling to homeschool. We are encouraging our friends who have just started homeschooling to come. My husband has personally challenged other homeschooling men to join their wives. Perhaps there is someone on your heart right now that needs to be invited this year. Follow God’s leading to reach out to them. This conference is a wonderful resource, and we are blessed to have it in our state. I can’t wait to see you all there!

The Value of the Homeschool Conference

If you are like most of us, you are probably just a tad discouraged about now. You are in the thick of homeschooling. Lessons are a little behind schedule, especially after the holidays. The curriculum you chose just isn’t working out the way you hoped. Somewhere down the line, the organizational charts have disappeared, and you suspect that the dog ate them. Your kids have started to ask questions that you can’t answer, and you may feel very, very alone. Boarding school is starting to look like an attractive option.

Cheer up! Homeschool conference season is just around the corner!

Homeschool conferences are a great place to learn what went wrong and to share the excitement of what went right during your homeschooling year. You can learn how to get better organized, find new answers to puzzling problems, grow encouraged and do what homeschooling moms love to do most—shop for new school materials!

Homeschooling conferences have grown tremendously as the market itself has grown. Almost every state now hosts at least one homeschool conference, some states hosting several. Vendors vie for slots at these conferences, eager to display their wares. Speakers get valuable exposure, while attendees benefit from the wisdom that they share.

According to Nancy St. Marie, conference vice-president for North Carolinians for Home Education (NCHE), the true success of a state conference is not measured in terms of its present size, but in terms of its growth. “The best conference is the one that meets the needs of the homeschoolers who attend,” she said. “The best measure of this is that the conference is still going and growing. In North Carolina, we feel we are reaching a large portion of the homeschoolers in our state, but we are always trying to do it better.”

By any measure, the NC annual conference is one of the largest and best organized in the nation. Last year, nearly 9000 people attended the huge event which is held in the largest convention center in the state. Other large conferences include the Florida (FPEA) state convention, which had nearly 10,000 attendees last year, the Pennsylvania (CHAP) convention, which had nearly 7500 attendees, and the California (CHEA) convention which had roughly 5500 in attendance at its largest convention in Ontario.

Whether large or small, homeschool conferences offer a wide variety of events to help and encourage those who have chosen the path of homeschooling. Conferences vary widely in scope and offerings. Often these factors depend on the size of the homeschooling population in the state, the structure of the state homeschool organization and the length of time a conference has been held in that state. Some larger conferences offer graduation programs, talent shows and special programs for school age children and teens. Some conferences are broad in scope and present a wide variety of ideas and approaches for attendees to explore, whereas others are focused on certain ideals or approaches.

Conference organizers estimate that between twenty and thirty percent of conference attendees are either new homeschoolers or those considering the possibility. Most of the rest are veteran homeschoolers who are looking for new ideas and desiring to increase their knowledge. A few attendees are business people, there to connect with publishers or vendors. The rest are those who simply want to know more about the homeschool community.

Some conference terms may be confusing to first time attendees. Following are activities that most conferences offer.

Keynote Addresses

Keynote addresses are typically speeches given by nationally-known homeschooling figures and deal with issues relevant to most homeschoolers. They are often the most inspiring and encouraging speeches given. Usually, these keynote addresses are scheduled so that they are the only event offered in that time period. Announcements pertaining to the conference and organization are also usually made during this time, so it is important to attend these sessions.

Workshops or Sessions

These sessions generally run an hour in length and deal with specific issues regarding homeschooling or family life. Usually, several of these run concurrently so you have to choose the ones that best suit your needs. Most conferences have programs that provide brief descriptions of the workshops as well as codes that indicate whether a workshop is more appropriate for moms of young children, moms of elementary or secondary level students, dads, teens, etc. If you want to attend more sessions than are physically possible, tapes are usually available for purchase.

Vendor (or Exhibitor) Workshops

Vendors generally pay for this time in order to explain their products more fully to prospective buyers and to answer questions concerning them. Often, you will meet the author of the curriculum and will be able to ask questions about how to adapt the program for your needs. These are low-sales-pressure events and are usually purely informative. Materials are not usually sold in the workshops.

Vendor Hall or Exhibit Hall

Curriculum and related homeschool products are sold in the exhibit hall or book fair. According to The Economist magazine, the homeschool market is now worth about 850 million dollars a year, so more and more vendors are turning their attention to the homeschool market. In addition, experienced homeschooling parents are beginning to develop curriculum products to fill gaps in the market. Small conferences may have only a few vendors, whereas large conferences may have 150 or more. Some conferences also offer a used curriculum area for parents to swap or sell their old books.

Perhaps you have heard of homeschool conferences for years, but have never attended one. Perhaps this whole idea is new to you. Or perhaps it has just been too difficult to attend. Most conferences request that small children not come, unless they are nursing infants. This is a necessary request since space is often at a premium. Also, since sessions are being taped, noise from younger children is a problem. So attending a conference may involve finding an accommodating friend or relative to keep the young ones. Therefore, you may be wondering if it is it really worth it. Here are some factors to consider as you make your decision.

The Wow Factor

“The first benefit is always the wow factor when someone arrives at the convention,” explained Cheryl Boglioli, state chairman of the Florida Parent Educator’s Convention (FPEA). “It is an awesome experience to realize that you are not alone in this endeavor and there are so many families of all walks of life with the same objectives.”

“Awesome” is also how Scott Adams describes his experience at the North Carolina conference last year. Scott has four small children, but the concept of homeschooling is fairly new to him—an idea that he at first greeted with skepticism. “I was surprised by the attendance. It was amazing seeing all those families there—and there were far more men there than I expected. It really changed my view of homeschooling. It is one thing to hear about the numbers of families that are doing it; it is another to actually see them gathered together!”

The Encouragement Factor

Fearful new homeschoolers as well as veterans near the end of their journey are both in desperate need of encouragement. A homeschool conference with powerful and motivating speakers provides enough encouragement for both.

Kim Roper, events director for the California Home Educator’s Association (CHEA), explained how conferences benefit both veterans and newcomers to the homeschool community: “Newcomers often reignite the passion for homeschooling in seasoned veterans. The veterans, in turn, often give timely wisdom and understanding to new home educators who may be discouraged.”

The Camaraderie Factor

None of us likes the feeling of being alone in our convictions. The homeschool conference provides an atmosphere of camaraderie produced by large numbers of families sharing the same strong convictions. We are revitalized when we realize that we are not on this journey alone.

In addition, homeschool conferences are a great place to gather with others and discuss the successes and the failures of the past year. Learning that someone else is having the same problem is almost as beneficial as actually finding a solution! Since some homeschool parents may have little support from family or community, this is especially important.

“It comes down to support,” explained Kim Roper. “The Scriptures tell us, in Hebrews 10:23–25, that we should not forsake the assembling of ourselves together, but that we should encourage one another. Obviously, Paul is talking about attending church in this passage, but I believe the principle also applies to home educators. We can be an independent lot and often forget that we can’t do this alone!”

The Convenience Factor

At a conference, the large number of homeschool vendors gives the opportunity to actually see many choices rather than merely reading catalogs. Vendor workshops add the opportunity to learn how to use the products.

“For vendors, the greatest part of attending conventions is meeting the people,” said Christi Patterson, events coordinator of Alpha Omega. “Having the time to hear peoples’ stories and helping them to find the perfect product for their students is a great benefit. The face-to-face interaction that we have at conventions is unparalleled. We have customers that specifically call and ask for reps that they met at conventions because of the bond they formed in that little time together.”

The Economic Factor

Though there are costs associated with attending a conference, there are pay-offs as well. You will have the ability to compare products and prices. You can ask others for recommendations and advice that may help you avoid costly mistakes. In addition, some vendors offer special discounts at conferences.

“We introduce many new items at conventions and super discounts are available,” explained Tina Tatum, the owner of Discount Homeschool Supplies. “It is also our best time to offer free shipping and discounts for local orders.”

However, some vendors have a different approach. “Sonlight Curriculum does not offer special pricing at conventions because we provide special pricing and benefits to all customers all year long,” explained Janice Hammersmith, Sonlight’s curriculum consultant coordinator. “Choosing the right homeschool curriculum for your family is a very big decision that takes time and research, and we do not want customers to feel pressured to buy at a convention because they receive a special deal,” Janice added.

The Spiritual Factor

Often our hearts are convicted but our minds are not totally convinced. Conferences can bring the confirmation that we are definitely on the right road and that we really did hear God’s voice.

“I think one of the most important reasons to attend a homeschool conference is similar to what the Bible teaches regarding salvation—that those with shallow roots will not flourish,” explains Melanie Young, whose husband serves as president of NCHE. “Over the years, the families that I have seen succeed at homeschooling are those with deep roots—a strong spiritual and philosophical basis for their homeschooling,” she added. “Conference is where you get that! Conference is like a spiritual retreat where you can get away from the everyday cares of homeschooling and focus on why you are doing this—and how you can do it better. The roots that you will grow in response to the speakers and fellowship will help you weather the storms of poor health, financial difficulties, struggling learners and unsupportive family.”

The Connection Factor

Conferences are a perfect environment for renewing old connections or making new ones. You are also given the opportunity to reconnect with vendors and ask the questions that have been burning in your mind all year. Staying connected can give you the strength and support needed to keep going. Conferences also give you the chance to evaluate organizations such as HLSDA and your state homeschool organizations to see if they will help your own family stay as connected as it should be. “I was skeptical at first about the need to join my state organization,” said conference attendee Lynn Adams. Adams, who is homeschooling for the first time this year, attended her first conference in 2003. “But when I saw all that my state organization did, all the services they offered in keeping me informed, I decided that I wanted to be a part of that.”

The Thinking Factor

Many homeschooling moms rarely get some time off to really think through what they would like to see happen in their homeschool. The conference weekend allows them the freedom and time they so desperately need to process through all of their plans and ideas. A conference offers parents a chance to gain a great deal of important information from a variety of homeschool sources.

Speakers are a big part of this equation. Homeschool conferences often gather the best and brightest stars of the homeschool community who share wonderful ideas, provoke thoughtful discussions and make themselves available for consultation. “Our speakers care about those who come to the convention,” said Muffy Amico, the convention coordinator for FPEA. “They give of their time, talent and resources to help encourage the attendees in this journey of homeschooling.”

The Fun Factor

Homeschool conferences can be a time of laughter and fun as we reconnect with friends and share experiences—some wonderful, some disastrous and some hilarious. Many conventions offer planned activities for the children or workshops for teens. Some also offer family nights where everyone is invited for an entertaining evening. Speakers and workshop leaders know first-hand the many tears and trials we go through as homeschoolers. Therefore, they are often down-to-earth and funny and can actually relate to what it takes to travel this road.

So by now, maybe you are thinking that you should attend the NCHE annual conference. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and our homeschool conference could just be the source of inspiration and encouragement that you need. Despite the cost and travel involved, you will return home as a better-equipped parent. As homeschool mom Lynn Adams explained, “We all need encouragement, guidance and ideas. Homeschool conferences have all that.”

Dr. Samuel Blumenfeld, renowned author and homeschool conference speaker wrote an article entitled “The Boom in Homeschool Conventions,” in which he summed up their benefits this way: “I could write a book about these wonderful homeschool conventions, the families that attend them, and the fabulous entrepreneurs who offer their products to parents who truly care about their children’s well-being and happiness. If you want to see the beautiful benefits of educational freedom, go to a homeschool convention. You’ll love it!”

Ten Reasons Why You Should Attend the NCHE Annual Conference

1. You can gain new ideas and find creative resources.
   Many vendors reveal new products at the conference. You will find ideas that you have never seen!
2. You can examine curricula offerings first hand.
   There is no substitute for seeing a curriculum first-hand in order to predict your child’s reaction to it. A curriculum is much more successful if the child is motivated by it!
3. You can meet with old friends and make new ones.
   The conference is a great place to find kindred spirits! We all can use that kind of support.
4. You will hear and meet interesting speakers and authors of curricula.
   This is your chance to rub elbows with some of the country’s homeschooling leaders and benefit from their wisdom and experience.
5. You will be energized and motivated by the excitement of the event.
   Homeschooling can be a draining experience. The conference can renew your spirit and strengthen your commitment to home education. We catch excitement from each other!
6. You can gain knowledge that will help explain your position to skeptical friends and family members.
   As you tell others what you have seen and heard at the conference, they will be more likely to understand that homeschooling is a well-established, successful national movement.
7. You can learn more about political and legal homeschooling issues that relate to North Carolina.
   It is important to stay aware of important developments and challenges in the state in order to help protect homeschool freedoms.
8. You can encourage North Carolina homeschool leaders.
   Your state leaders are volunteers who work hard to help you all year long. Attending the conference and expressing your appreciation for it and for all their other hard work will encourage your state leaders.
9. You can save money by shopping more wisely and taking advantage of discounts.
   Some vendors offer special conference discounts. You also save the cost of shipping. Even you if you do not make purchases, comparing products and prices can save you money down the road, because you can evaluate how well the products will meet the needs of your family. The most cost-effective product is the one that works for you!
10. You can learn how to teach your own children more effectively.
    Even teachers need lessons now and then! Chances are that you have often wished you knew more about a particular educational issue. Our conference is the place to learn. You may even have the chance to get personal advice from nationally known homeschool leaders.
This article is adapted from one that originally appeared in The Old Schoolhouse magazine (www.TheHomeschoolMagazine.com) and is used by permission. Amelia Harper, a NC support group leader, is the author of Literary Lessons from The Lord of the Rings (www.homescholarbooks.com). She is also the Media Editor for The Old Schoolhouse. Deborah Wuehler is the devotional editor for the magazine

NCHE's Annual Conference: Shaping the Life of One Family

NCHE's annual conference has been a catalyst for shaping the direction of our family over the past several years. We have attended each annual conference since we began homeschooling (with the exception of the year a baby came during conference weekend). Every year God has issued a challenge to our hearts that has impacted our family.

The first year, we attended the conference as parents who were "checking out this homeschooling thing." We came away excited about the benefits homeschooling offered but also overwhelmed at the plethora of educational choices available. Our second year, we were challenged by the message that character was just as important, if not more so, than academics. We realized that we needed to strategically teach our children a variety of character qualities, not just assume they will develop them. The third year, a session at the conference was one of several means God used to speak to us about the blessing of children, and now we have three more! The next year, the message impacted the lives of our older daughters as we were challenged to not only prepare them academically, but to also prepare them to be wives and mothers. Family worship and family-integrated church was the challenge issued to our hearts in the next year. Finally, we had wanted to explore part-time family business ideas, and we found a few sessions about that at this past year's conference.

Each year we leave the conference with renewed vision, purpose and confidence in this path to which God has called us. We know that we are no exception. Everyone can benefit from the many quality workshops offered. With the diversity of topics and God's work in individual hearts, we can each hear and receive a variety of challenges that have the potential to shape our families. A friend commented to me about the conference, "It is not just a homeschool conference; it is a marriage conference, a family conference, a relational conference, as well as an educational conference." He's right!

Seven years ago, we were a "normal family", two parents, two children, two careers, gearing up for public school. Now, we are a one-income homeschooling family with five children. Our vision has changed; our focus has changed; our purpose has changed. Life is much more exciting than we ever imagined!

Many of these changes came about as a result of speakers we heard and sessions we attended at NCHE's annual conferences. We are grateful to NCHE, the conference committee, and the board for the hours they put into planning this conference year after year. It is an intense work that has a great impact on thousands of families. The 2008 conference planning is underway. The dates are set: May 22-24. We pray you will plan to attend and glean all God has for you during the weekend. It is not too early to start planning to be a part of a life-changing event!

Veteran Homeschoolers: Be There For the Beginners

"I should say not. What good would she be to us?"
"We might be some good to her," said Matthew suddenly and unexpectedly.
Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

"No, I'm not joining HCHA this year," an old friend told me recently. "My kids are older and we go in different directions. There' s really not much for me there anymore, but hey, forward me any interesting email, okay?"

Many of us old-timers do understand-- me included. Life is busy no matter how old your homeschooled students are. We change the directions that we go and the activities we take our kids to (or watch them drive away to) and the demands placed on us change. Maybe we have aging parents to help. We may become employed in this season of life. We may even have grandchildren on the way! The registration fee can easily be used toward some other need.

Why should the homeschooling veterans join a support group? What benefit is it to them, especially when their children are honing their activities toward their future goals, and the days of soccer in the park or field trips to the post office have been outgrown?

The quote from Anne of Green Gables sums it up well. In that conversation, Marilla is talking about sending Anne back to the orphanage because they had "ordered a boy" to help Matthew with the farm. They didn't "need" a girl-- Marilla had things in the house well under control.

Marilla's question is surely reasonable, as my friend's position was. Having Anne seemed no help at all-- just the opposite, in fact. Matthew's response changes the perspective and reshapes the discussion. He shifts from human reason to God's viewpoint as he turns the tables on Marilla. Anne was a "perfect heathen," and they could do her a great deal of good.

Homeschooling veterans, in the same way, we can "be some good to" the younger families. They need us to stick around and stay involved in the life of homeschooling! One scriptural principle which may be applied to this subject comes from Titus 2:3-5; "Older women likewise are to be ... teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands ...."

While homeschooling is not the context of this passage, the principle has wide application to our lives today. The young women need us to be there "teaching what is good." I want to issue a trumpet call to the seasoned homeschooling moms: please consider the value your insight and experience has for our new families who need a mentor, a wise friend, a Titus 2 relationship. Of course, God knows what demands you have on your plate today. He may indeed lead you to step back for a time. But, don't abandon the support group ship without considering what good you might be to a younger mom. The same principle applies to veteran dads for the younger dads!

Who is a veteran? Guess what. If you've been homeschooling a year, you'e a veteran to someone who is just beginning! When you take time to welcome a new person and share with them what you have learned in the first year you are using what you have learned by multiplying the value of your experience to His glory. In the homeschooling world, a seasoned parent doesn't have to be old.

Perhaps you know that by the end of Anne of Green Gables, Matthew and Marilla had been of great good to Anne; what they had never suspected, though, was how much good she would be for them. She became the most precious part of their lives. As our veterans give of their experience and wisdom to the younger families, I suspect they, too, will benefit the most in the long run. The younger women will be the ones helping our children and grandchildren in their homeschooling and standing in the gap for the freedoms in our future.

Homeschool Support Groups

Homeschool support groups provide encouragement and guidance for many homeschooling families. The opportunities to receive advice, tips, and wisdom from folks that have similar experiences are innumerable, and invaluable. Lifelong friendships often develop between members of homeschool support groups.

Families that have homeschooled for several years are considered veterans and provide the support or backbone for a group. However it is not unusual to find groups that have been formed by families new to homeschooling. The reasons we join leave a current group or start a new support group are as varied as the reasons we chose to home educate our children. Equally as important is making a good match before we join.

There are groups that support a myriad of home education ideologies, and philosophies, religious preferences, ethnicity, gender, age, geographic location, special interests or special needs, even hobbies all form the basis for joining a homeschool support group. Bear in mind, the list is nearly endless and this represents an abbreviated overview of the many types of groups that exist.

What does your family need?

When surveying your family’s needs, ask yourself “what are your family’s priorities or criterion for joining a particular group?” Is interaction with other moms at the top of your list? Is the issue one of socialization a great concern? What about the need for regularly scheduled events? Would you like for your children to participate in scholastic competitions as part of a group? What is the level of commitment required by your family to participate with the support group’s activities? For many support group’s attendance at a percentage of activities is required. These are just a few of the questions that will help you avoid becoming overwhelmed and over committed.

Some support groups exist solely to cater to the needs of the child. This type of support groups is often very activity driven. There are numerous opportunities to meet playmates, to take field trips, etc. This type of support group tends to have larger numbers of pre-school and elementary school age children. The groups is likely to meet often, since the emphasis is not as heavily on academics and long hours of study which occurs as the students enters the high school years.

Other support groups focus on the benefit to parent as teacher. This type of group sponsors activities such as workshops, monthly teacher meeting which focus on teaching skills, confidence building, fellowship, curriculum exchanges to name a few. This type of support group operates more as a ministry of encouragement to moms.

Another example is a support group that is completely family oriented, with activities planned and scheduled to include the entire family. Meetings are held less frequently usually during the evening hours or on weekends in an effort to accommodate the work schedules of the dads.

Though not an exhaustive list here are a few significant points to ponder as you consider which homeschool support group to join:

Differences between support group offerings

• Some groups operate as a ministry or under the umbrella of a local church.
• Some groups collect dues for membership. Others may require a yearly application fee.
• Some groups offer lending libraries or other resource programs.
• Some groups publish a newsletter, ezine, or publish a yearbook.
• Some groups offer co-op or enrichment programs.
• Some groups offer athletic leagues, bands and choirs.
• Differences in support group administration
• Some groups have annual rotating leadership, or limit the office of President to a defined term.
• Some groups operate as small corporations, with a board of directors and holding annual elections for officers.
• Some groups are very laid back, and meet only on an as needed basis.
• Some groups are limited to 10 or fewer families in order to maintain intimacy, while others have as many as 300 families in membership.
• Some groups maintain a waiting list and continue to accept applications throughout the year, while others will not accept any applications once their quota is filled.

The key to finding the right match for your family and a support group is discovering what thing (s) they do exceptionally well, and your expectation that it will have significant and continued positive results on your family. So take your time. Visit several groups. Talk with leadership and members before making a choice. Prayerfully consider what type of group your family needs before you make a commitment to join.

Homeschool Castles

The village has been around since the 1700s. The thatched roofs look original, and they really don’t leak. Each house (looks more like a hut) is placed on a ten meter by fifteen meter lot—extremely small by US standards, but surprisingly, a thriving vegetable garden also occupies the space. The father is walking out, followed closely by his wife and two young daughters. They could almost be mistaken as characters from medieval folklore. Suddenly they stop and lift their eyes to something in the distance. Their eyes seem to be reading the stories of old. The setting sun shines light on the eastern panorama. It is a most magnificent scene. In the distance are the castles of Wales.

On October 1, 2003 our family had the privilege of meeting a homeschool family from Wales, Great Britain. They had sent an email to NCHE that was forwarded to me. They were planning a four-week vacation to the United States and were making their first stop in the Charlotte airport. They were going to have a long layover before flying up to New England. They planned to visit Niagara Falls, New York City, Boston and a few other locations. Their goal in Charlotte was to meet a homeschool family from the USA.

We spent a wonderful ninety minutes visiting with David and Sara Marks plus their two daughters Eleanor (ten) and Jennifer (seven). Everyone was pleasant, and the conversation flowed smoothly through many subjects.

They showed us pictures of their thatched roof house on three hundredths of an acre. Naturally we each asked about the other’s homeschool experience. They chose homeschooling because of the concern about kids in the government schools rebelling and becoming vandals. Even kids in “private and public” schools were not the desirable sort. Note that the terminology of “public” and “private” schools does not have the same meaning in Europe as they do in the USA.

Then we talked about the castles. They gave us a beautiful gift—a book on the castles of Wales. Wales is often called the "Land of Castles" and rightly so, as it is home to some of Europe's finest surviving examples of medieval castle construction. The castles of Wales survive today in a variety of conditions, ranging from completely ruined castles to castles that still serve as stately homes for their owners.

Castles have many features, most of them security or defense related. Most people are acquainted with moats. These are deep trenches usually filled with water that surrounded a castle. Another feature is the turret: a small tower rising above and resting on one of the main towers, usually used as a look out point. The gatehouses are the complex of towers, bridges and barriers built to protect each entrance through a castle or town wall. There are many more features of a castle, but you will have to do your own homeschool research project to get the details.

These castles are still breathtaking. Did you know that most of them are 700 to 1000 years old? They just don’t build things like they used to. Most of them also took two to three generations to complete. In other words, if we started building one today in the same way, our grandchildren would finish the job after we were buried in the cemetery next door.

That is enough about the castles of Wales. Have you ever seen a homeschool castle? Maybe not yet, but you are constructing one at this very moment. I predict that your grandkids will finish the job after you are long gone and dead. Will it be sturdy enough to last 1000 years? Will it still be beautiful to behold after many generations? Our Lord announced that he would love to bless His children up to 1000 generations to those who love Him and keep His ways (Exodus 20:6).

Now go work on your homeschool family castle. Your great grandchildren will think it is magnificent when they gaze upon its awe-inspiring view in the satisfying light of the setting sun.