{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"Carolina del Norte para la educaci\u00f3n en el hogar","provider_url":"https:\/\/nche.com\/es_pr","author_name":"Spencer Mason","author_url":"https:\/\/nche.com\/es_pr\/author\/spencer-mason\/","title":"Trophy Wives and Trophy Children - North Carolinians for Home Education","type":"rich","width":600,"height":338,"html":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"OkFphXW1RK\"><a href=\"https:\/\/nche.com\/es_pr\/trophy-wives-and-trophy-children\/\">Esposas trofeo e hijos trofeo<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/nche.com\/es_pr\/trophy-wives-and-trophy-children\/embed\/#?secret=OkFphXW1RK\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" title=\"&#171;Trophy Wives and Trophy Children&#187; &#8212; North Carolinians for Home Education\" data-secret=\"OkFphXW1RK\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/nche.com\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>","thumbnail_url":"https:\/\/nche.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/Trophy-wives-Image1000.jpg","thumbnail_width":1000,"thumbnail_height":408,"description":"[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.22&#8243;][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;2_3,1_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;2_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.6.6&#8243;] 25 Mar 2015 We\u2019re all familiar with the term\u00a0trophy wife. This term usually involves the rich, worldly man who chooses to marry not for love, but rather to show off a suitable trophy among his friends and business partners. The\u00a0trophy\u00a0is a beautiful woman, beautifully dressed, perfectly coiffed, manicured and lavishly bejeweled. Love never enters into this arrangement; it\u2019s purely about image. Did you know we can also have\u00a0trophy children? When we raise\u00a0trophy children, it\u2019s always about image\u2014how\u00a0we\u00a0want to be perceived by others. We want to have the brightest, most talented, best-behaved children among our peers. Love may not even enter into the equation. We want to show off what we have that they may not have. We project the thought: Your children are disrespectful, lazy, underachievers; but look at\u00a0my\u00a0children! See how perfect they are? See how great I am? See how perfectly we raise our children? Don\u2019t you wish you were like me? Now that\u2019s the cold, ugly side of it, of course. Few of us are that cold-blooded. But where does\u00a0wanting the best for our children\u00a0end and\u00a0look at my children\u2014they\u2019re perfect\u00a0begin? Sometimes the dividing line is narrow. We all know about\u00a0t-ball dads\u00a0or\u00a0cheerleader moms\u00a0who live vicariously through their children, insisting that their children be the best player on the team or the best cheerleader on the squad. Their children become an extension of their own ego, and their focus less about who their children were created to be and more about how they want the world to see them as parents. For some of us the temptation to raise\u00a0trophy children\u00a0is about academics. We want them to read before they\u2019re three, speak French before they\u2019re five, have the winning science experiment and make it to state finals in the spelling bee. But for others it\u2019s about raising spiritual\u00a0trophy children. We want children who are active evangelists at seven, little Bible scholars at eight and number one in Sunday school attendance every year. We saddle them with expectations that none of us could possibly live up to. How many among us can say we never fell victim to any kind of sexual sin? How many of us can say we spent our youth praying and meditating on how to bring purity to Hollywood, holiness to Washington and revival to Europe? How many of us can say we listened only to Christian music in our youth? Yet these are the expectations we have for our children. Don\u2019t misunderstand. I am\u00a0not\u00a0saying that praying and meditating, listening to Christian music, etc., are bad. I am\u00a0not\u00a0saying we shouldn\u2019t encourage our children toward righteousness and away from sin. Of course we should. But we should recognize that our children are no different than we are and that\u00a0they\u00a0need a Savior, too. They\u00a0will\u00a0fail. They\u00a0will\u00a0make poor choices. And God still wants to meet them right where they are\u2014just the way He met us in our sin. My encouragement to you today is this: help your children achieve academic success and spiritual growth. Help them become the man or woman God created them to be. But never confuse\u00a0your\u00a0desire to\u00a0look good\u00a0with your job as a parent to help direct your children. The moment our child\u2019s achievements and behavior become all about our\u00a0looking good, we have lost the battle, and we\u00a0may\u00a0lose our children. Children have an innate sense about these things and know when they\u2019re being used as pawns in an ego game. Wives aren\u2019t trophies. Neither are children. Both are to be loved and honored, cherished and nurtured. Both are to be served by us, rather than becoming servants for us. They\u00a0do not\u00a0exist to make us look better or feel better about ourselves. Through them, we are given the opportunity to embrace self-sacrifice as we lay our lives down for others. It never hurts to check our heart\u2014to check our motives. Ask the Lord from time to time,\u00a0is this about them, or is this about me? He\u2019ll answer. He is faithful. Those of us who homeschool often feel everyone is watching, including friends, family, neighbors and even the government. We\u00a0want\u00a0to succeed. We\u00a0want\u00a0to see our choice validated and to prove that our sacrifices have been rewarded. We\u00a0want\u00a0to present bright, well-educated, cheerful children with a deep sense of purpose and spiritual maturity beyond their years. But they\u2019re still just children, just like we once were. The answer isn\u2019t to simply let children wander aimlessly without academic goals or spiritual objectives. Rather it\u2019s to check our hearts and test our motives. It\u2019s easy to slip over the line and begin raising trophy children without even knowing it. Think about this. We want our children to be the best-behaved among all their friends. Perhaps we want our children to be the best groomed or the best at serving others. Maybe we want them to be the best at Scripture memorization. But there can\u00a0only be one best! Everyone else is not\u00a0the best. Odds are that your child won\u2019t be the best at geography, the best at history, the best at Scripture memorization, the best at math, the best at soccer or the best at caring for those who are younger or weaker. Only one child can be\u00a0best\u00a0at any of those areas. But your child can be\u00a0good\u00a0at some of those things. He may even be pretty good at\u00a0most of those things. And that\u2019s good enough. God encourages us, His children, to grow, but he always loves us right where we are. I encourage you to do the same with your children. \u200b [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Steve Lambert Bio&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.6.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_module=&#8221;17384&#8243;] [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_sidebar area=&#8221;et_pb_widget_area_16&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.6.6&#8243; global_module=&#8221;19006&#8243;] &nbsp; [\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]"}