Finding the Balance

Over my years of homeschooling, the most significant goal I have chased is balancing between academic rigor and the invaluable lessons derived from real-life knowledge in my children’s education. Hailing from a blue-collar, entrepreneurial background, I was proudly the first in my family to graduate with a four-year college degree. In contrast, my husband’s background boasts a lineage of scholars with PhDs. Initially, our focus tilted heavily toward academic excellence, influenced by our families’ histories. However, with its unpredictable twists, life compelled us to change our approach and think beyond conventional standards. As I observed my children’s strengths and weaknesses over the earlier years, it became clear that their talents and interests lie in fields outside the norm, and a need for a college education seemed less and less relevant. Not to say that academic studies are a waste of time, but the question is whether they will serve my child’s future.

Does everything need to be learned through a curriculum or outside teachers? Thousands can be spent on books, online classes, in-person tutors, and the like. All of it is less expensive than a private school education, so those resources seemed logical at first. Then, the struggle began to keep up with all the lesson plans, tests, and schedules. The annual standardized test performances were a litmus to their success, right? I mean, if they perform better than 90% of the kids, our plan must be working. Then, why are the school days heavy and the kids obedient but uninspired?

Having a conviction that unconventional homeschooling was the path for our kids, I found a growing support in my husband. He had been scarred by negative school experiences and was supportive of exploring alternative avenues in education.

The ensuing decade became a journey of continuous adaptation and discovery as we navigated the intricate terrain of striking the right balance in our children’s education. A steadfast and attuned parent will inevitably unearth the path that resonates with each unique child. Be warned that we can so quickly put our expectations on the children that we forget they are born as their own person—rich in talents and desires that may surprise you!

The reward is never greater than when their eagerness to learn grows as the school years pass. My oldest son is months away from his fifteenth birthday and is already working for pay and gaining valuable experience in the technology field. My middle daughter has an extraordinary love for art and the talent to go with it. Do I demand hours upon hours of academics when her afternoons are better served creating beautiful art? No. My youngest is still finding her way, and maybe her journey will differ, but I thank God for the opportunity to give each of them what they need to prosper. There is still some grumbling about lessons and questions like, “Why do I need to learn this?” But smiles, joy, and confidence abound on more days. Is the peace of knowing they are finding what they were created for worth standing up to societal pressure? Yes! Well-meaning family, friends, coworkers, and even other homeschool families can give you valuable insight, but no one will want to see your child succeed more than you.

The self-doubt that comes with taking full responsibility for your child’s education is a precarious place to be. I laugh out loud when parents say to me, “Well, you can’t teach them everything.” They are correct, but neither can anyone else. In the information age, we have become so inundated with knowledge that we continually think we are lacking. Yet, for generations, societies thrived by people having specialties. Added to that is the current homeschooling landscape that defies traditional definitions and offers personalized learning experiences. Yes, we must hold some standard, if for nothing more than abiding by the laws of our state. I am thankful that North Carolina has generous room to create nearly endless boundaries for your child’s education. Several known billionaires were school dropouts, great inventors struggled in formal classroom settings, and even Benjamin Franklin was self-taught. These examples encourage us to take a risk with our kid’s learning.

If your journey of homeschooling is a dynamic quest for balance too—a delicate equilibrium between academic rigor and the invaluable lessons derived from real-life experiences—be encouraged as parents to stand firm in your belief that, despite the uncertainties and challenges, the pursuit of a balanced and personalized education for your children is a worthwhile endeavor.