Homeschooling as a Military Family

by | Feb 28, 2023 | , , , ,

by Sarah Hughes, February 2023

 

I started homeschooling in the fall of 2022, and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made! We live in North Carolina, and we are a military family as well. Being a military spouse definitely affected my choice to homeschool. These are just a couple of ways homeschooling has made our lives a little bit easier as well as some possible cons to consider when choosing to homeschool as a military family.

 

 

Relocating and Not Switching Schools

 

School Districts:

When we moved from Georgia to North Carolina, I was stressed about finding a house in a good school district because my kids were still in public school. We didn’t have a lot of time to find a house, so it was nerve-racking when a lot of the houses were crossed off the list because of bad school districts.

We’re currently in the process of moving again. It is such a relief now that I’m homeschooling to not have to worry about the school district that we’re moving to.

 

New Kids:

My kids were also anxious about being the new kids at a third school. They’re still the new kids in our homeschool groups, but it’s a different culture than public school. They don’t feel nervous to go to the group activities because there are kids in and out of the groups all the time. Everyone is kind of new every semester.

 

 

Different Levels:

When we moved from Florida to Georgia, the schools were at completely different academic levels. In Florida, my kids were ahead or advanced. When we moved, they were suddenly behind because the new school was moving at a more advanced pace. With homeschooling, I don’t have to worry about the school level or pace changing. Nobody is behind because I can meet my kids where they’re at and work at their level.

 

More Time with the Service Member

There are times when my husband’s schedule has been crazy. With deployments, detachments for training, working night crew, and recruiting duty (the worst!), he was rarely at home. When my kids were in public school, it was harder to take advantage of the days/times that he was home. In the evenings, the kids had homework. On the off chance he had a day off, they couldn’t just stay home from school because they would feel behind the next day.

 

With the flexibility that homeschooling gives us, we can enjoy our time when he is home in the evenings, or if he has a day off, we can also take the day off from school and just spend time as a family. This is especially important when you know a deployment or detachment is coming up.

 

State Regulations

When you move states frequently, you have to make sure you are following each state’s legal regulations for homeschooling. It can be a little confusing and also change the way you’re schooling. For example, in North Carolina the homeschool laws are relaxed; you just have to test once a year. But in Georgia, where we lived previously, you have to include specific subjects in your curriculum, write progress reports for each subject at the end of every year, and you only have to test once every three years. 

 

I would suggest becoming a member of HSLDA for legal protection and advice when moving frequently and homeschooling. When preparing to move to a new state, look into a statewide homeschool support group for current information about the homeschool laws as well as ways to get involved with the homeschool community in your new area. For example, NCHE has a webpage that specifically addresses families new to North Carolina. 

 

Support

I have found that I need the support of my spouse more with homeschooling than when my kids were in public school. I need his encouragement when I’m doubting my teaching. I need breaks from my kids since I’m with them all day long every day.  I don’t get that break from them going to school. When he is gone for a long period of time or his schedule is just crazy, it does make it harder to homeschool. However, I think the pros tremendously outweigh the cons for our family.

 

Sarah Hughes is a homeschooling mom of four and military spouse currently living on the coast of North Carolina. She’s blogging through her homeschool journey from the beginning and sharing what works for her family, what doesn’t, and all she has learned so far. Subscribe to the Hughes House Homeschool blog here.

 

Photo credits: Military family photo from Adobe stock, Soldiers marching photo by Filip Andrejevic on Unsplash, kite flying family photo by Klara Kulikova on Unsplash, moving plan photo by oxana v on Unsplash.

ESA+ Scholarship for Students with a Disability

by | Feb 14, 2023 | , , , , ,

by Jessica Frierson, February 2023

Homeschool students with disabilities may be eligible for funds through the North Carolina State Education Assistance Authority (NCSEAA). You may have heard of the ESA+ scholarship but read on to learn more because a lot has changed to make it more accessible to families. I will share with you what I have learned from Kathryn Marker, Ph.D., the Director of Grants, Training, and Outreach at NCSEAA, and will walk you through the steps to apply for and use ESA+ funds for your child.

 

We at NCHE have heard from many families that it has been difficult to become eligible for these funds. Those who managed to do so reported that determining what items or services are qualified purchases was the next obstacle. Dr. Marker explained, “Not understanding what the funds could be used for, and where to find providers or certain products, was definitely a pain point for homeschool families last spring and early fall.” However, NCSEAA has taken steps to alleviate both hurdles. “The website, for example, now has detailed explanations of the ESA+ allowable expenses, and directions for how to purchase products or pay for services.”

 

The application period opened on February 1. Priority is given to those who apply by March 1 so don’t delay if you want to qualify for the scholarship! If you do not already have an IEP in place for your child, start now, and aim for the 2024-25 school year. Here are the steps to take.

 

 

1. Obtain an IEP.

The crucial first step is to obtain an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) from a public school.
First-time applicants must take this step. As Dr. Marker shared in a recent presentation to the DPI Parent Advisory Commission, “there is no other way to document a disability for the purposes of the ESA+ program. A 504 plan, private evaluations, and medical diagnoses do not qualify a student for the ESA+ program.” However, she shared a great resource for assistance in obtaining this. The Exceptional Children’s Assistance Center (ECAC) is a nonprofit which, among many other valuable resources, “assists parents with the IEP process.” 

Reevaluation for those who have received the scholarship in the past has an alternative, but this must be done through a public school the first time. It is then valid for three years before a new one is obtained. You will be notified when your child is due to recertify. The feedback we have from parents is that it may take repeated phone calls to get this set up with your school district.

Who qualifies for an IEP?

The IEP team must determine that a child has at least one disability listed among the thirteen categories defined by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), and that it would adversely affect their educational performance. The thirteen categories of disability include:

 

Here are the other program requirements from PowerPoint Presentation (ncseaa.edu):

All Required:

  •  Is a child with a disability who requires special education as documented by a NC public school IEP Eligibility Determination  
  • At least 5 years old by August 31 or at least 4 by April 16 and approved for kindergarten according to state guidelines 
  • Lives in NC 
  • Has not graduated from high school 
  • Has not enrolled in a post-secondary institution full-time* 
  • Eligible to attend public school in NC.

 Students who meet the criteria outlined above and have one of the following designated as the primary or secondary disability on the IEP Eligibility Determination may be eligible for a higher scholarship award than full-time students without these designated disabilities. Terms listed in parentheses as they appear on the Eligibility Determination: 

  • Autism (Autism)
  • Hearing Impairment (Hearing Impairment, Deafness, Deaf-Blindness) 
  • Moderate or Severe Intellectual or Developmental Disability (Intellectual Disability, Moderate or Severe) 
  • Multiple, Permanent Orthopedic Impairments (Orthopedic Impairment) 
  • Visual Impairment (Visual Impairment, Deaf-Blindness)

*Full-time: 12 or more credit hours in a given semester.

Students funded in the prior year receive priority consideration. 

Source: PowerPoint Presentation (ncseaa.edu)

 

2. Set up an account in My Portal. Welcome to MyPortal (ncseaa.edu)

 

 

3. Apply for the ESA+ scholarship through the Portal.

There is a video tutorial and other information on the application process here. 

 

4. Once approved, the recipient’s funds are utilized through a platform called ClassWallet.

The payment process for all items is now handled through ClassWallet, which hosts the online account on behalf of the ESA+ program.Parents will find that this will simplify the confusing labyrinth parents were formerly navigating. Now, you sign in to your ClassWallet account and shop within the online marketplace they have created. 

 

5. What are allowable expenses?

  • Tutoring: “Tutors must be registered with and approved by SEAA to participate in the ESA+ program. Tutoring services must be related to one of the following academic subjects: math, science, English/language arts, social studies, or foreign languages.”
  • Educational therapy: It must be adaptive/therapeutic in nature or designed for students with special needs to meet the qualifications, and the provider must be registered and approved by SEAA to participate in the ESA+ program. Some types of therapy approved  are applied behavior analysis therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, music therapy, art therapy, and therapeutic horseback riding lessons/equine therapy.
  • Curricula: The guidelines for qualifying curriculum materials state that they “should provide academic instruction or information (such as booklets or lesson plans) or an opportunity for a student to practice an academic skill”, must be within three grade levels of the student’s current grade level (you can leave a note explaining the situation if you need an exception made to this rule), and must clearly support one of these academic subjects: math, foreign language, science, social studies, or English/language arts. Also included are lesson plans, learning kits, or workbooks that supplement an academic subject. Consumable supplies such as pencils, printer ink, or notebooks are NOT allowable expenses. There are currently twelve curricula providers listed on the NCSEAA Provider Search database:
      • Rainbow Resource Center, Inc.
      • APT to Learn
      • Readability
      • The Good and the Beautiful
      • Brave Writer LLC
      • Gander Publishing, Inc
      • Layers of Learning
      • Writing Wonders
      • Noeo Science
      • Teaching Textbooks LLC
      • Beautiful Feet Books
      • Intoxicated on Life/Journey Homeschool Academy
  • Transportation to/from educational activities or services
  • Standardized test fees
  • Educational technology: These items fall under several categories.
    • Vision
    • Speech
    • Hearing communication
    • Learning, cognition, and development
    • Computers
    • Miscellaneous

The NCSEAA website explains that for educational technology products, “ESA+ funds cannot be used for the same category of item within three school years, or for any item over $600. For example, a tablet purchased in 2022-2023 (fall or spring) cannot be purchased again until the 2025-2026 school year. Note that a tablet / iPad is one category of computer. A laptop / desktop is a different category.”

 

In a follow-up phone call with Dr. Marker, I asked how parents could determine whether an item they wished to purchase met the criteria to be an allowable expense. “Parents shop from the list of authorized vendors within the online marketplace on ClassWallet. The order is then sent to ESA+ for approval. Upon approval, the cost of the items is deducted from their Wallet and the items are shipped to their home,” she told me. “The authorized vendors include curricula companies as well as large retailers such as Amazon.” Familiarizing yourself with the allowable items will make the shopping experience easier and the approval process smoother. 

 

6. Common misconceptions: 

  • Prior enrollment in a public school. FACT: There is no requirement for a child to have been previously enrolled in a public school to be eligible for an ESA+ scholarship.
  • Reimbursement of expenses. FACT: There is no reimbursement for materials or services. All purchases are made through the ClassWallet platform. Invoices are submitted for some services, but the payment goes directly to the provider.

 

7. Still need help?

For additional support and assistance for your family, check out the Exceptional Children’s Assistance Center. They are a great resource. Their staff has been specifically trained to help parents with children who are not in traditional public schools. Their services are provided at no cost to North Carolina families. As their website says, they “help parents navigate the special education system, know their rights, and use their voice…provide information, support, training, and resources to assist families caring for children with special needs from birth to age 26.”

If you have questions about initiating the special education process, timelines, evaluations, reevaluations, and/or eligibility, please contact the Exceptional Children’s Assistance Center (ECAC) at 1-800-962-6817 or ecac@ecacmail.org. ECAC provides NC families with tools, resources and information to help them make informed decisions and become their child’s best and most effective advocate. ALL of ECAC’s services to families are provided at no cost.

And as always, we at NCHE are here to help you homeschool with confidence and joy. Our homeschool helps director, Amanda Wares, has put together a page with answers to your FAQs and a list of helpful resources. If you have questions for Amanda, you can email her at helps@nche.com. Be sure to join our Facebook group for Homeschooling with Special Needs. And check out the Homeschool Show on Youtube or your favorite podcast provider, where you can find tips, encouragement, and the latest homeschool news on our weekly broadcast.

 

 

Jessica Frierson is a second-generation homeschooler. She is married to Ernie, a retired minister. They have been homeschooling their seven sons and three daughters since 2000. She is a speaker and writer. She serves as the secretary for NCHE, writes for GREENHOUSE, and is the lead blogger for the NCHE blog. 

Cover photo by sofatutor on Unsplash.

How Homeschooling Made Me a Better Mom

by | Jan 31, 2023 | , , , ,

by Sarah Hughes, January 2023

I didn’t think I would ever homeschool, but I’m proud of myself for sticking with it and honestly not hating it. Overall I think it has made me a better parent. Here are five reasons why.

 

1. I enjoy schoolwork (as opposed to homework).

When my kids were in public school and we had to sit down to do homework at the end of the day, it was the worst. I wasn’t nice. I was frustrated because we didn’t have time. They were bringing home schoolwork that I didn’t really know how to help them with like common core math.

Now we have plenty of time; it’s not rushed. I know exactly what they’re learning and how to help them. It’s not frustrating to do daily school work with my kids anymore, and I know they like me as “homeschool mom” way better than “angry homework mom.”

 

 

2. I have more time to parent.

When my kids were in public school, it felt like a rat race in the evening to get everything done from 3 pm to 8 pm—soccer, homework, dinner, showers, etc. When my kids were having meltdowns after school, I didn’t feel like I had the time to stop and take care of it.

Now I have all the time in the world to focus on any issues my kids are having and fix them. Parenting takes a lot of time, and I’m so grateful that homeschooling gives me that extra time.

 

 

3. I stopped worrying if they were behind.

My daughter was technically “behind’ in public school, and it was extremely stressful for both of us. I thought she was doing fine, but I still felt like I had to constantly push her ahead when she wasn’t ready.

With homeschooling, I’m able to meet my kids where they are, and there is no such thing as “behind.” Every kid learns at their own pace. Being able to take that stress off has made me a more chill mom. I know my daughter loves learning now as well. She was starting to hate learning in public school and felt like she couldn’t catch up.

 

 

4. I’m more involved in their friendships and influences.

When my kids were in public school, I didn’t really know any of their friends. I knew their names, and I knew that I didn’t like some of the things my kids were learning from them. But there was nothing I could do about it other than teach my kids what’s right and wrong and hope for the best when I sent them off to school.

With homeschooling, I’m able to be more involved in their lives. I personally know each of my children’s friends. I know their parents. I’m around when they have classes or clubs together. I obviously still have to teach my kids right from wrong, and I can’t monitor everything. But I love meeting their friends, talking to them, and knowing who my kids are hanging out with and who they’re learning things from.

 

 

5. I actually enjoy my kids (as opposed to dreading school breaks).

I used to hate school breaks when my kids were in public school. I couldn’t wait for them to go back to school. They drove me crazy.  Looking back, I know I was definitely not the best mom when I was dreading spending a week with my children and just looking forward to it being over.  Sadly, I know a lot of parents who feel that way. They also think they could never homeschool because they need that break from their kids when they go to school. I felt that way too. But homeschooling is a different ball game.

With homeschooling, our days are fuller with the activities we have chosen. We are busy with schoolwork, field trips, park days, clubs, etc. so my kids aren’t bored like they were during school breaks when we didn’t have a full schedule. When my kids aren’t bored (like they were on spring/winter breaks) they don’t get as crazy. They also don’t have the post-school crash anymore. They would go nuts during school breaks after having to sit still and be quiet for hours each day, week after week. Homeschooling has helped me to enjoy my time with my children. Although I still need a break here and there, I don’t feel like they need to go to school every day to get that break.

 

Sarah Hughes is a homeschooling mom of four and military spouse currently living on the coast of North Carolina. She’s blogging through her homeschool journey from the beginning and sharing what works for her family, what doesn’t, and all she has learned so far. Subscribe to the Hughes House Homeschool blog here.

 

Photo credits: Behind by note thanun on Unsplash, girls reading photo by Ben White on Unsplash, tug of war photo by Anna Samoylova on Unsplash, happy mother photo by Xavier Mouton Photographie on Unsplash

Key Differences Between College Entrance Exams

by | Jan 25, 2023 | , , , ,

by Jessica Frierson and Angie Cutlip, January 2023

The subject of college entrance exams can be intimidating to many homeschool parents. In addition to being teacher, administrator, and all of the other roles you fill, you are your child’s guidance counselor. It is prudent to begin looking into these exams before your child enters high school in order to be well-prepared. Here are the answers to common questions and the key differences between the testing options. 

Which tests are considered college entrance exams?

The ACT and SAT are the two admission tests traditionally required by most colleges for admission. All of the constituent institutions of the University of North Carolina accept SAT or ACT scores in support of an application for admission. The University of North Carolina System website states that, “Homeschool or non-traditional high school graduate applications without standardized test scores will be reviewed holistically.” 

The CLT (the Classic Learning Test) is a new college admissions test. It was designed to take advantage of contemporary technology and testing students on more engaging material. Many homeschool families that have done amore classical approach lean toward this option. The CLT website describes it in this way: “Classic Learning Test (CLT) exists to reconnect knowledge and virtue by providing meaningful assessments and connections to seekers of truth, goodness, and beauty. CLT offers the only standardized tests that can be taken online, emphasize intellectual aptitude and achievement, and are grounded in the liberal arts tradition. The ‘classic’ in ‘Classic Learning Test’ refers to our use of the greatest and most enduring texts that have informed and shaped society.” There is a growing list of colleges that accept this test, mainly Christian colleges.

Will a paper test still be available? 

The College Board has stated that digital testing will replace the paper materials and pencils currently required. Paper SAT test will no longer be available starting in the spring of 2024. The digital version will be adaptive by adjusting the level of difficulty of questions based on the student’s performance. Going digital does not change the location of test sites, and it will continue to be proctored. Students may use their own laptop or tablet, one provided by the school, or a borrowed one from the College Board.

Other reported changes with the digital SAT include:

  • A shortened test day with the exam time being reduced from three hours to two
  • Allowance of graphing calculators throughout the math portion. Students may bring their own or use one that is embedded in the exam.
  • Faster results. Test scores will be available within a few days and will now be augmented by resources for local community colleges, workforce training, and career options in addition to the information about four-year colleges and scholarship opportunities previously included. 
  • More concise questions. For example, shorter reading passages and only one multiple choice question on each passage. 

On the other hand, the ACT offers both digital and paper options. According to Janet Godwin, CEO of the ACT, Inc., “We will always have an option for digital.”  For several years, ACT has offered students the opportunity to retake individual sections of the test. However, that option will no longer be available.

The CLT is predominantly taken online, although some schools may use a paper version. Students may take a proctored exam at a participating school on a tablet or computer or a remote-proctored test from their own home using a desktop or laptop computer.  The CLT is the only option that allows in-home testing. Strict guidelines, such as video recording of the test process, are implemented for at-home testing to ensure a credible assessment.

Does the SAT/ACT/PSAT/CLT meet the state annual standardized testing requirements?

The developers of the SAT have eliminated the essay (writing) component of the exam. As a result, the SAT does NOT meet the requirements according to NC statutes for non-public (homeschools) schools that require national standardized tests to assess spelling. The ACT meets the testing requirements ONLY if the essay portion is administered. The PSAT does NOT meet the testing requirements. The CLT10 and CLT8 are acceptable test options.

How do homeschool students register?

Registration for the SAT is found here on the College Board website, and for ACT here; you do not register with the individual high schools. The ACT homeschool code is 969-999. Use homeschool code 970000 for the SAT. To register for the CLT or see test dates, look here.

What financial assistance is available to help cover testing costs?

Families who fall within certain economic guidelines qualify for a fee waiver on the SAT and the ACT. You can learn how to apply for the SAT waiver here. The fee waiver for the SAT covers two exams, two chances to access answer services, and unlimited score reports sent to colleges. Additional benefits are: it will cover the application fees for participating colleges, free CSS Profile™ applications to apply for financial aid from participating schools, and fee reductions for score verification reports, as well as releasing the student from fees for late registration or cancellation.

As for the ACT, the student may apply for up to four fee waivers for the exam. Each time they receive the fee waiver, they may request an unlimited number of score reports sent to colleges. They also receive free access to The Official ACT Self-Paced Course powered by Kaplan® and may request a Waiver or Deferral of College Admission Applications Fee. “To have a college application fee waived,” according to ACT, Inc., “you must submit your fee waiver directly to the college to which you are applying (not to ACT). Information on the waiver for the ACT can be found here. 

Students may apply for assistance to cover up to the full cost of the CLT here and may request assistance up to twice per year.

When should college entrance exams be taken?

Many students choose to test for the first time during the spring of their junior year, then again in the fall of their senior year. Another strategy is to take the ACT in the spring of their sophomore year as a practice (which will meet the standardized test requirement for that year if they complete the essay portion). Visit the College Board website or the ACT, Inc. website for upcoming test dates. Cancellation policies differ between the two, so be sure to find out what to do in the event that your child is unable to take the test on the date they selected.

What can you expect?

The SAT takes three hours and has 180 questions divided into three sections. Most questions are multiple choice although a written answer is required on some math portions. There is no penalty for incorrect answers so guessing at an unknown answer is encouraged. Scores range from 400 to 1600. You can find more specific information about each section at the College Board website. 

SAT Component Time Allotted (minutes) Number of Questions/Tasks
Reading 65 52
Writing and Language 35 44
Math 80 58
Total 180 154

Credit: satsuite.collegeboard.org

 

The ACT has 215 questions in four categories. The allotted time is 2 hours 55 minutes. Scores range from 1 to 36. The score for the optional writing test is not calculated into the composite score.

ACT Component Time Allotted (minutes) Number of Questions/Tasks
Reading 40 35
English 75 45
Math 60 60
Science 40 35
Writing (optional) 1 prompt 40 minutes
Total 215 2 hours 55 minutes

 

The CLT is a two-hour test. Scores range from 0 to 120, are available within eight business days, and can be sent to an unlimited number of colleges. The three sections each contain 40 questions and include verbal reasoning (40 minutes), grammar/writing (35 minutes), and quantitative reasoning (45 minutes). The use of a calculator is not permitted. An essay section can also be taken, unless the test is done by remote proctor. 

 

One Final Thought

Keep a healthy perspective. Your child’s value is not encapsulated in their test score, nor should you feel that it is reflective of your efforts as their teacher. Many students have succeeded in earning scholarships, gaining admittance to the college of their choice, and excelling in college while lacking an optimum test score. A balanced approach to test preparation can relieve the stress from the pressure to perform while still ensuring that your child is able to make the most of the opportunities available to them.

 

 

Jessica Frierson is a second-generation homeschooler. She is married to Ernie, a retired minister. They have been homeschooling their seven sons and three daughters since 2000. She is a speaker and writer. She serves as the secretary for NCHE, writes for GREENHOUSE, and is the lead blogger for the NCHE blog. 

 

Angie Cutlip resides in Wendell, NC with her husband and two daughters. She received her graduate degree from North Carolina State University. She taught in the Wake County Public Schools for ten years. She began serving the homeschooling community after the birth of her first daughter. She has been homeschooling for over 20 years, serves as a moderator for the NC Homeschooling Facebook group, and is the director of ATC Educational Services.

 

Photo credit: Nguyen Dang Hoang Nhu on Unsplash

The Beginning of the End

by | Jan 4, 2023 | , , , , , , , ,

by Jessica Frierson, January 2023

This month marks the beginning of the end of an era in my life. My youngest child will turn seven in just a few days, marking the beginning of his official school years. Although we have a decade or so remaining until our youngest will graduate, the occasion is very bittersweet for me. When I began homeschooling his oldest brother in the fall of 2000, I had no idea that over twenty years later I would be starting my tenth child on their official home education journey.

In many ways, I conduct our homeschool in the same manner that I did in those early years. We take a relaxed approach to education with plenty of nature study, hands-on activities, and delaying formal schooling until age seven. I learned from various sources, including Dr. Ruth Beechik, Raymond and Dorothy Moore, and Dr. David Elkind, the importance of the young child having the opportunity to learn through play until their brains and motor skills are more developed. As I have written about here, teaching each child how to read and write is one of the most thrilling experiences of my life. Many fond memories have been made over the years working with each child to master the basics of reading, writing, and arithmetic, setting up science experiments, or diving into a period of history.

Over the years, we have had a variety of school schedules. Initially, we schooled year-round and freely took days off to visit family out-of-state. As our family grew, the out of state visits became less frequent. Still, the year-round schedule allowed us the freedom to take time off for the arrival of a new baby, sickness in the family, or catching up on household needs. (Toddlers can wreak an amazing amount of havoc while the rest of the family is gathered around the dining table for a history lesson!)  

As my children got older and were more involved in church and sport activities, we discovered that most of those activities were planned around the traditional school year. For several years after that, we altered our school calendar to match the traditional one more closely. Now we have come full circle and returned to the schedule that suited us most: six weeks of school followed by a two-week break. The first week off gives me a chance to tackle household chores, get the garden under control, or just catch my breath. The second week is used to go over completed school work and plan out the next six-week session. 

In a similar vein, my method of lesson planning has had a few twists and turns before returning to my original approach. One bonus of homeschooling for so many years is that I have had time to finetune what works best for our family. In the first years of homeschooling, I kept a notebook for each child in which I wrote out their assignments in each subject for each day, and we did school four days a week. Monday, a.k.a. “Momday,” was set aside as my day to get the week off to a good start by creating a menu for the week, pay any bills that were due, and cook double batches of a few things to put in the freezer for the busier days ahead. 

For several years after that, we had five days of school per week. This schedule meant that I had a lot of late nights trying to play catch up on all of those activities I had previously done on my Monday-Momday. These were also the years I had a child at virtually every stage possible–infant, toddler, preschool, elementary, middle school, and high school. These were also the days I look back on now and say to myself, “How did I survive?!?” These years were precious…and crazy busy…and full of memories…and exhausting…and wonderful. 

In those busy years, my lesson plans were put on a grid of five squares across to represent the days of the week and eight squares down for the subjects studied: language arts, math, history, science, music, handwriting, and art (yes, I tend to be over-ambitious. No, we didn’t fit it in as often as I planned.) I kept the master copy of this plan and referred to it to copy into my kids’ notebooks as often as I could. More often, they looked at it then went off to do their assignments. There were many days where we just winged it, with everyone just doing the next thing in each of their books. Somehow, my kids won blue ribbons and best of show in the science fair, placed first or second in the spelling bee, and played in the community orchestra. One of them won a history essay contest. I say this not to boast in our achievements but to boast in God’s power to help us in our weaknesses when we are faithful to trust Him. I think each one of these events occurred shortly after a period of me feeling discouraged about effectively homeschooling my children.

Now that we are beyond the years of having babies, toddlers, or even preschoolers in the house, homeschooling looks a lot different. It is calmer, quieter, much more organized–well, there’s still my tendency to be overly ambitious and spontaneous, so maybe we should just stick with, “slightly more organized.” I have gone back to writing out daily school assignments in a notebook for each child. Lessons don’t have to be planned around naptime, diaper changes, or feeding the baby. We are finished by early afternoon. And we have returned to a four-day week for the most part; Fridays are our “Fundays.”. We do online art lessons, play games, and watch educational videos.

Twenty-two years of homeschooling are behind me; eleven or so lie ahead. It is certainly a lifestyle for our family! We have loved the flexibility that homeschool offers. If I could go back to the beginning, what would I do differently? It may surprise you that my answer is that I would have put less time into outside activities. One of the concerns I hear expressed most by new homeschoolers is being able to find adequate outside activities, but I would be more focused on guarding our time at home. I would enjoy more of the moments that I spent worrying if I was getting enough done. I would laugh more and fret less. I would back up my documents and photos so they weren’t lost when my computer’s motherboard was fried from dust. But otherwise, I wouldn’t change a thing. Homeschooling has been as wonderful, as challenging, as simple, as fulfilling, as frustrating, as freeing, as I expected it to be. Did I mention that I was homeschooled myself? So, I guess I had a bit of a sneak preview. The sneak preview sold me on the concept, and for once, the experience lived up to my expectations. It is with both a twinge of sadness and a heart full of excitement that I add my last student to the roll book (the one in my head, anyway) and set off on this course one more time.

 

 

 

Jessica Frierson is a homeschool graduate and has been homeschooling her ten children since 2000. She serves as the secretary for NCHE, writes for GREENHOUSE, and is the lead blogger for the NCHE blog.

 

 

All photos by Jessica Frierson.

Small Gifts: Big Impact

by | Dec 13, 2022 | , , ,

by Jessica Frierson, December 2022

I read a very inspiring email this morning from Dr. Jeff Myers, president of Summit Ministries and a featured speaker at past NCHE Thrive! Conferences. He talked about the difference little things can make in big problems. The story he recounted was an amazing one that I had never heard. 

As Dr. Myers explained, when communism was growing around the world in the 1960s, many accepted it as inevitable and even extolled its supposed benefits. A small, self-published book, None Dare Call It Treason, written by an unknown author began spreading through word of mouth. Many who read it accused the author of being an evil man spreading lies. However, the book reached the hands of one man who did not share that sentiment. That book eventually lay in a prominent place on the desk of that prominent man, who, in June of 1987, boldly proclaimed to the leader of the communist state of the Soviet Union, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!“

The author of the book that inspired President Ronald Reagan to take an unflinching stand against the tyranny of communism was an electrical engineer from St. Louis; he was also an instructor at the small nonprofit Summit Ministries. According to Dr. Myers, “It was John Stormer who encouraged Summit Ministries to publish Understanding the Times—the best-selling worldview text of all time—and develop a curriculum that has trained hundreds of thousands of people in a biblical worldview.” Wow! What a difference one small thing has made!

NCHE is another small nonprofit working to make a difference in the world. We believe that by helping families homeschool with confidence and joy, we are impacting the lives of families in North Carolina for generations to come. The gamut of services we provide runs from protecting the freedoms of homeschool families by actively monitoring bills presented to the General Assembly to hosting field trips across the state. The NCHE Athletic Commission provides opportunities for thousands of homeschool athletes to participate in eight different sports. We maintain an expansive website with a multitude of resources such as instructions for opening a homeschool, transcript template, testing information, region-specific pages listing area support groups, and a weekly blog. Our office staff speaks with hundreds of families each year, offering solutions to problems they encounter in the homeschool process. At the same time, our new mentor program provides one-on-one guidance from experienced and trained homeschool moms and dads. 

These are just a few of the many ways that our organization serves the families in our state. It would take an entire blog post to tell you all of the things that NCHE has been up to in the past year alone (and it would be a long post!). How do these things get accomplished? We are a small organization with only two full-time paid staff members. The majority of our work is done by volunteers who commit hours each week to carry out their commission to serve their fellow homeschoolers. We are mothers with small children, fathers who are working to provide for our families, grandparents who want to ensure their grandchildren continue to receive the benefits of homeschooling, and retirees who are committed to serving even years after their children have grown and graduated. 

We fit our NCHE duties into our daily schedule between changing diapers, homeschooling our children, making dinner for our family, taking teens to Speech and Debate competitions, navigating medical crises, moving to a new town, and all the other fine details of life. Often, the sacrifice is great, and our resolve is tested. But we continue on, walking in faith that even the small gift we give of recording a webinar, writing a blog post, hosting a field trip, or taking half an hour to encourage a struggling mother will have an impact on those we reach. 

Like a pebble tossed into a pond spreads ripple after ripple across the water’s surface, our work has already caused significant ripples in the landscape of education in North Carolina and beyond. However, this impact will not remain on the surface but will go much deeper. When parents have the freedom to personalize each aspect of their child’s education to meet that child’s individual needs, that child is prepared to be a world-changer. 

A young man or woman who has learned how to learn – an often-quoted goal of homeschooling parents – has what it takes to reach their full potential. Tossing aside the mold that students must conform to in any other educational setting to freely explore the unique gifts, talents, interests, and skills of the homeschooled child is invaluable. This freedom is only attainable with homeschooling. 

What part can you play in this endeavor to impact our world? NCHE has many seats to fill around the table. Our needs are as varied as the services we provide. They include IT, writing (blog posts, GREENHOUSE articles, show content), video production, photography, social media, and marketing. Contact us today to find out where we can best use your skills and interests.You can email me at jessica.frierson@nche.com, and I will make sure your information reaches the correct department. 

As we reach the end of our fiscal year, your financial gift can make a big impact to our ministry. No gift is too small to make a difference. I doubt that John Stormer ever imagined the part his small book would play in tearing down the wall of communism that symbolically and physically separated the free world from those in bondage. My children have a beautiful storybook by Max Lucado called “Small Gifts in God’s Hands.” It teaches us that we should never doubt the power of God to multiply our gifts – no matter how small – in order to accomplish His purposes. He only asks that we act in faith and obedience to freely give what He has already given us.

Tell others about NCHE! A tiny percentage of the homeschool families in North Carolina are aware of the organization that worked to give them that same opportunity. They do not know that the resources they are searching for are available at our website. They have never attended the Thrive! Conference, where they can listen to great speakers like Jeff Myers of the Summit Ministries, make powerful connections in the homeschool community, and pour over hundreds of curriculum options in the vendor hall. They are counting on NCHE to protect their continued freedom to homeschool without even realizing who we are. The best way we have to reach these families is through word of mouth. That means YOU! Tell other homeschoolers about our website, invite your friends to meet you at the conference, and share our posts on Facebook and other social media outlets. Please spread the word about the work we are doing, and help us impact our world, one small gift at a time.

Jessica Frierson is a homeschool graduate and has been homeschooling her ten children since 2000. She serves as the secretary for NCHE, writes for GREENHOUSE, and is the lead blogger for the NCHE blog.

Small gift photo by Rob Laughter on Unsplash. Passion photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash. Ripple in pond photo by Jessica Frierson. Tell others photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash.

Instilling Gratitude in Our Children

by | Nov 22, 2022 | , , ,

by Jessica Frierson, November 2022

November is the season of gratitude, culminating in a national observance of Thanksgiving Day. George Washington began the tradition of a national day of thanksgiving in 1789. Washington had previously ordered special days of thanksgiving for his troops following successful battles during the Revolutionary War. President Lincoln called on our nation to remember the blessings and provisions of God even amid a war-torn landscape in his Thanksgiving Day Proclamation on October 3, 1863. He poignantly reminded us, “No human counsel hath devised, nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.” 

The practice of setting aside a day to give thanks to God for His care and provision goes back to the earliest days of our nation. According to www.mountvernon.org, “Colonists often established Thank Days to mark certain occasions. These one-time events could occur at any time of the year and, emphasizing prayer and spiritual reflection, were usually more solemn than the Thanksgiving we observe today.” 

No history of Thanksgiving Day would be complete without remembering the 1621 occasion of the Pilgrims’ famous feast with the neighboring Wampanoag, and again two years later with a day of praise to God for rain after a two-month drought. But credit for the first annual Thanksgiving observance goes back to 1619 with a group of thirty-eight English settlers who comprised the first permanent settlement in the Virginia colony. The group’s charter from the London Company dictated that, “the day of our ships arrival at the place assigned for plantation in the land of Virginia shall be yearly and perpetually kept holy as a day of thanksgiving to Almighty God.” In keeping with this, an annual commemoration of this earliest documented day of thanksgiving is observed at the Berkeley Plantation, located near the site of their landing along the James River in Virginia.

 

Oh come, let us sing to the Lord! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before

His presence with thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. Psalm 95:1-2

 

Sadly, the Thanksgiving holiday in America has lost much of its focus on consecration to God, gratitude for His grace and provision for the past year, and prayer for the year to come. It has become largely synonymous with family spats, gorging ourselves on turkey “with all the fixin’s,” and football. Gone are the days of solemnity, selflessness, and unity. Thanksgiving aside, our culture today is overcome with self-gratification, which is hardly compatible with gratitude. This loss does not come as a surprise, however, as we are warned in 2 Timothy 3:1-3 that a lack of gratitude will characterize life in the last days:

“But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: for men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!” 

As parents, we must not only guard against this type of attitude within ourselves but must also be diligent to cultivate in our children seeds of kindness, thankfulness, humility, obedience, holiness, truthfulness, a love for God, and consideration for others. I believe that all of these attributes are interwoven with a spirit of gratitude. 


What makes a person feel grateful? The foundation is an appreciation for what you have and a realization that it is a gift from God. We most appreciate what we have when we have gone through a time of being without those things. Conversely, the more someone has, the less grateful they tend to be. 

When our neighborhood was hit by a tornado several years ago, we had a lengthy power outage. I recall how satisfying it was to put away the kerosene lamps and flood our home with light at the flick of a switch once again when the power was restored. What a wonderful feeling when cool air once again flowed from our air conditioner! Things we would otherwise take for granted take on new meaning when lost to us. 

Piglet noticed that although he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude. ~ A. A. Milne

To help our children appreciate the blessings and privileges that fill their lives, we could shut off the water and electricity or take them to a third world-country to live for a few months. As a less drastic measure, offer them a look at life through the perspective of someone else who doesn’t enjoy those same luxuries. Often, we are unaware of how privileged we are compared to many others in the world. 

This lack of awareness was made clear to me one day many years ago when my oldest sons were small. They were visiting their grandmother’s house, and she brought out a basket of Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars for them to play with. My youngest brother, a teenager then, came inside with a friend who had recently immigrated from Central America. He came to a complete stop when he saw the basket of cars. In a state of amazement, he knelt and picked one up, looking at it from every angle before giving its wheels a spin. He stayed there for some time, looking at one car after the other, driving them around on the floor with my sons. He went on to share that he had never had a toy of any kind in all his life and had always dreamed of having one – just ONE – toy car like these. Twenty years later, I can still picture his face and vividly feel the overwhelming emotions I felt that day. I witnessed his reaction to what was a very ordinary plaything to us but an unreachable dream for that young man.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them.  ~ John F. Kennedy

How can you instill a spirit of gratitude in your child? Teach them to live so that their eyes, ears, and hearts are continually open to the needs of those around them. Pray with them that God would open a door of ministry for them. Look for an organization they can get involved with that will allow them to share what they have to fill those needs. It may be giving of their time, talents, money, or ideas. Whatever way they choose to give, teach them that the best gifts are those wrapped in love. Using the gifts God has given them to improve the life of others offers a way to put their gratitude into action and helps them fulfill God’s command to love their neighbor. Remind them also that praying for others is the most powerful gift.

This season is a great time of year to partner with organizations serving those in need. Here are a few places that offer various ways you and your family can help.

  • Operation Christmas Child Shoeboxes: your child can pack a shoebox with school supplies, personal hygiene items, a small stuffed animal, or a deflated soccer ball with a pump to be distributed to impoverished children worldwide. Older kids can volunteer to work in the distribution center, preparing shoe boxes for shipping.
  • In addition to the Shoebox project, Samaritan’s Purse offers many opportunities to take a proactive role in improving the lives of others. You can donate to projects that assist refugees, rescue those caught in human trafficking, set up field hospitals to serve in a medical crisis, provide hot meals to a hungry child or infant, drill a well for a community, plant a grove of trees, teach efficient and sustainable farming techniques, empower vulnerable women, assist a family devasted by a natural disaster, or, our family’s favorite: purchase an animal for a needy family that will allow them to feed themselves and establish ongoing income by raising chickens, rabbits, goats, or other livestock.
  • VOM Action Packs: Voice of the Martyrs assembles Action Packs that are distributed worldwide to persecuted Christians. They are often disseminated via refugee camps. The Action Packs contain soap, towels, a tarp, zip ties, a blanket, a sheet, and a toy. You can purchase the items and mail them to VOM or make a donation that is specified for one.
  • Did you know that the Salvation Army is often the first relief response during floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, house fires, or even acts of violence such as rioting? There are many ways to contribute to the efforts of the Salvation Army. Just a few of the avenues your donation may be used for are providing Christmas gifts for children in your community, helping a needy family pay their electric bills, supporting disaster relief efforts, sponsoring a child overseas, and providing support for recovering addicts.You can also donate clothing, toys, household items you no longer use, and real estate or automobiles. Adults can also serve on their local advisory board, set up fundraisers, volunteer in one of their thrift stores, or serve in the local shelter. (Personal note: my husband’s parents were SA officers. Although their salary was modest, they always had a home—often furnished—and an automobile provided for their use in each city where they were stationed that had been donated to the Salvation Army. My sister-in-law adopted one of my nephews after meeting him at the SA shelter where she was serving with my father-in-law.)
  • While the Salvation Army is often among the first responders to a disaster, Mennonite Disaster Relief is often the last to leave hard-hit areas. This organization provides disaster relief to families by rebuilding homes and sometimes even bridges damaged or destroyed by floods, hurricanes, or other natural disasters. Their focus is on long-term recovery. For example, according to Communications Director Jesse Huxman, the MDR team just returned from Marianna, FL, where they have worked for the past few years helping families who are recovering from a hurricane that hit in 2017. In Jesse’s words, “We are often in there two, three, or even more years after a storm has hit where folks are still living in their cars or an old, rotting RV out back because their house is not livable. Volunteers go in and repair or rebuild the home long after all of the other relief workers have left town.”MDR also offers summer youth programs that consist of projects for high school-age kids. They are assigned to work on weekly projects in disaster-stricken areas. The work may include hanging drywall, painting, installing flooring or insulation, laying roof shingles, or doing other rehabilitation chores. No prior experience is required, and they will teach the kids how to do what needs to be done.

As your family gathers together this Thanksgiving, contemplate the many ways God has worked in your lives. Talk together about His goodness and faithfulness to you. Make a plan for putting your words of gratitude into action. Consider giving your time and/or money to one of the ministries listed above or ask God to allow you to cross paths with someone you can minister to. Be sure to include your children in this. Ask them for ideas on how your family can serve others. You may be surprised at the insight they have and the creativity they show. Children often notice details we may miss, especially if we teach them to listen to the Holy Spirit speaking to their hearts. You will all find that the more you serve others, the more grateful you will be and the greater joy you will experience in life.

 

Jessica Frierson is a homeschool graduate and has been homeschooling her ten children since 2000. She serves as the secretary for NCHE, writes for GREENHOUSE, and is the lead blogger for the NCHE blog.

Grateful photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash  Gratitude rocks photo by Donald Giannatti on Unsplash. Boys on bus photo credit Paul Hunt, MDR. Photo by Rustam Mussabekov on Unsplash 

Teaching a Child to Read

by | Nov 2, 2022 | , , , , ,

by Jessica Frierson, November 2022

One of the greatest achievements of my life is passing on the gift of knowing how to read. Reading opens the door to learning every other subject. It can take one to faraway lands or offer a peek into another person’s heart. Your world will grow larger with each book you read. 

I have had the distinct pleasure of teaching ten (soon to be eleven) people to read over my lifetime thus far. This thrill was first experienced when I was only thirteen years old. My seventh-grade English teacher found herself with an accelerated student mistakenly placed in her class rather than the advanced one and a student whose family had recently immigrated here from Nigeria. My classmate Tayo could not read a word of English while I had taken my literature book home and read it from cover to cover during the first week of school. 

Our clever teacher paired us up. From that point on, when I arrived at my 6th-period class each day, Tayo and I pushed our chairs together at the back of the room. Head-to-head, we worked through the alphabet and the sound each letter makes, consonant blends and digraphs (although I had no idea that’s what they were called at that time), long and short vowels, and the crazy intricacies of the English language. By the end of the school year, Tayo could read enough to make it through her classes without an aide, while I was given the incredible gift of being a part of the process with her.

Years later, when I began homeschooling my first son, I again felt the joy in seeing that moment when it all “clicked” in his mind as he began putting sounds together to make a word. In fact, this is one of my favorite things about homeschooling; I would not easily give up this privilege to a classroom teacher. I have now worked through the process of learning to read with nine of my children and am presently teaching my youngest one. I am frequently asked, “How do you teach a child to read?” or “What reading program do you use?” Let me share with you what has worked for me. 

We start with a handwriting book. We use the Italic Handwriting series by Getty-Dubay, but any handwriting system would suffice. I also keep some of those Dollar Store blank handwriting tablets on hand for additional practice. As my child learns how to write a new letter, I also teach him the sound it makes. Most handwriting books will have a drawing to go with the letter, such as an elephant for “E” or an igloo for “I.” As the child moves through the book, I quiz him each day on the previous letters he has learned, covering up the drawing unless he needs a clue to help him recall it. 

Along with the handwriting books, I pour a thin layer of cornmeal on a cookie sheet and let my child draw the letters in the cornmeal while saying the sound it makes. This extra layer of sensory input helps the child’s brain form a stronger synaptic connection. After we have gotten through 8-10 letters, I draw a letter and have him guess or the reverse: I make the sound for him to draw the corresponding letter. 

We also have enjoyed using the workbooks from Pathway Publishing called Learning Through Sounds and Time to Read. They have simple line drawings that further reinforce each letter’s phonetic sound. An Amish publisher prints these, so we occasionally encounter a drawing that I have to explain, such as a buggy, bonnet, or water pump. These have provided an interesting peep into another culture that my children have found intriguing. 

As each child progresses through the alphabet, they discover letters in the world around them. They have all reached a point where they realize that there are letters everywhere – and how exciting for them to recognize them! As we move to the next step, their excitement grows even more. Three-letter words with short vowel sounds show how putting the letters together creates a word. The workbook pages they have been doing have already introduced them to the concept of rhyming and taught them to listen for the beginning and vowel sounds in words. Now they apply those basic skills to words like C-A-T, B-A-T, F-A-T and F-O-G, D-O-G, L-O-G. Next, I will switch vowel sounds in the middle of words, as in P-I-T, P-A-T, P-O-T, and P-E-T. It is typically at this point that they experience the “light bulb over the head” moment, and their eyes light up with understanding. 

The next step in teaching my children to read is adding an “E” at the end of words to create a long vowel sound. C-A-P becomes C-A-P-E, K-I-T becomes K-I-T-E, and H-O-P becomes H-O-P-E. At this stage, we may employ some beginner readers, such as the Bob Books series. We have also used a set from Abeka. These will have short stories that the child can read with only these simple introductory words. You can often borrow the Bob Books from the public library. 

Once my child has reached this stage, they begin the first in a series of readers. The ones that our family has used for over twenty years are the Pathway Readers, published by the same company that makes the workbooks previously mentioned. Each reader has an accompanying workbook. In the first few lessons of the first reader, the parent reads the first paragraphs of the story of the day, and then the child reads a paragraph or two. The focus of the workbook pages is on reading comprehension, continuing phonics practice, beginning grammar rules, and spelling. Gradually, the portion of the reading done by the parent is phased out as the child’s capacity increases. (By the way, these readers go up through the eighth grade if you continue with the series. For our school, we add a vocabulary workbook by the same publisher beginning with the 3rd or 4th grade.) 

You may be wondering at what age we begin this process of learning to read. As my child approaches age five, I begin to watch for signs of reading readiness. Pretending to read their story books, copying letters that they see in a book or on one of our school room (a.k.a. dining room) posters, and asking to be taught are good indicators. These activities show that their brains are reaching a stage of development that is prepared for grasping phonics concepts without it being stressful to them. Unfortunately, I have seen many children become turned off from reading because it was pushed on them too early or too fast. 

A couple of my children began reading at the age of five. For others, it was a couple of years later. If they showed signs of stress or distaste at any stage of this process, I backed off for a short time, then eased into it again a few months later. As a result, every one of my children has gone from the point of truly grasping the formation of short vowel words to reading entire story books in a matter of months. Most were seven years old when we really got into their reading lessons but by the end of their first school year, all were reading on a second-grade level. I am convinced that the most vital key to this was waiting until each child was ready.

All of my children share their mother’s love of reading. I have read to them from infancy and continue to read to them regularly, even as they grow into their teenage years. We listen to books on tape when we are driving, particularly on long trips. Some of our family favorites are the Little House on the Prairie series, The Basket of Flowers, and All-of-a-Kind Family. We have bookshelves in nearly every room of our house that are filled with hundreds of books. We are on a first-name basis with the librarians at our local branch. Getting their first library card on their fifth birthday is a family tradition. Reading is a passion that I have been thrilled to share with others. 

If you have questions about teaching your child to read or need advice on other areas of homeschooling, NCHE offers one-on-one mentoring sessions. One of the benefits of membership is a complimentary 30-minute session with one of our trained mentors. Additional sessions can be purchased. Check out our mentor page for more information. 

 

Jessica Frierson is a homeschool graduate and has been homeschooling her ten children since 2000. She serves as the secretary for NCHE, writes for GREENHOUSE, and is the lead blogger for the NCHE blog.

All photos by Jessica Frierson

A Journey Well-planned

by | Oct 25, 2022 | , , , ,

Dana McDill and Jessica Frierson, October 2022

Much like life itself, the course of homeschooling is not about the destination but the journey. Reaching that moment when we present our child with a diploma may be the prevailing image when we consider a vision for our homeschool. However, the journey to get to that point is what will shape our child’s future in an even greater way.

Know Where You Are Going

When starting any new endeavor, it is important to know where you are going. At whatever stage of your homeschooling journey you may be, I encourage you to write out a vision for your homeschool. At first glance, the goal of homeschooling is rather obvious: educate my child. And while that may be the foundation of your goal, you will want to take some time to paint the broader picture around that. As you do so, here are some tips to keep in mind:

1. Be purposeful and intentional. Consider the qualities that you want to work on strengthening in your child. Remember that a fulfilling life involves far more than having a successful career. Yet, many parents tend to focus on career-based skills and neglect the characteristics that define the kind of person their child will grow to be, such as building strong relationships, integrity, gratitude, perseverance, and faith.

2. Set priorities. Ask yourself (and your child) what the most important pursuits are for the upcoming year, then take a moment to think about how those pursuits fit into your long-term goals.  Keep in mind that many activities will require a high level of commitment that may not be worth the time and effort invested. Sports, dance, debate club, orchestra, and equestrianism are examples of activities that our family has considered at some point. Some we determined were investments we were willing to make; others we decided were not priorities for us.

Another aspect of setting priorities is considering what will be most meaningful for your children to remember from their childhood, including their school days. Will it be a home that looks like a page from Better Homes and Gardens, or will it be memories of blanket forts and a teddy bear tea in the dining room? Some families prioritize travel to see our country—or even the world! – while others give precedence in their time and resources to activities that keep them tied down closer to home.

3. Don’t compare yourself, your child, or your homeschool to others. You can find inspiration in or learn some strategies from other families but be on guard against allowing comparisons to creep into your thinking. Know that what works well for one family may not work for yours. Beware of letting a picture-perfect image you may see on social media stir up feelings of inadequacy in your heart. Remember that no one does everything well.

4. Know your limitations. A new baby in the home, toddlers, outside responsibilities, and medical conditions – these are just a few of the myriad factors that must be considered. Don’t set yourself up for failure by stretching your expectations for yourself or your family beyond what is reasonable.

No Sideroads!

Once you have set your vision, you must work to stay on track. Just as with any journey, you need to stick to your itinerary. Distractions come from a variety of fronts. The Bible warns us that we have an enemy, Satan, who is busily trying to distract us from God’s purposes. One specific piece of our spiritual armor is for our defense against this very thing. Ephesians 6:16 instructs us to take up “the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench the fiery darts of the wicked one.” Some of these fiery darts that he shoots at us include feelings of fear, regret, guilt, or of being a failure. 

Busyness or outside activities can derail our well-laid plans. Having the wrong priorities is sure to get us off track before long. There are even times when we become our worst distractions!

You must ensure that these distractions do not take your homeschool down a sideroad. Put your blinders on; stay focused on where you are headed. Don’t settle for what is good; only do what is best – and that means best for your family. And when a distraction seemingly appears, submit it to the Lord. Ask Him to help you remove it or ignore it if it is not from Him. This is an important step. There have been rare times when what I perceived as a distraction was, in fact, a detour ordained by the Lord. However, there are far more occasions when the detour I took was nothing more than a setback of my own doing. Prayer is the key to discerning the difference. 

Stay Focused

Psalm 16:8 shows us what a lifeline the Lord can be for us: “I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.” When I begin to falter, I remind myself that God’s work done in God’s way will never lack God’s supply. Keeping my vision ever before me, as I give God the reins, I can trust that He will keep me on track for where He wants to take my family.

Your role as wife and mother must not get swallowed up by your secondary role of teacher. Seek ways to serve your husband and to have time alone with just the two of you. Your marital relationship is the bedrock of your family, and thereby, your homeschool. Cherish the time you spend with your children, whether around the school table or doing other activities together. These are precious days that will slip by faster than you can imagine!

One day, you will look back on the years spent homeschooling your children with the satisfaction of having completed a long and difficult task. The journey you will have traveled to get to that point will have taken you through valleys of despair, brought you to mountaintop victories, and jostled you over many bumpy roads. You will feel as if the world rushed past in a blur one moment and turned ever so slowly the next. Having a clearly laid-out plan for your journey will not only be the guidebook for you to follow to stay on track, but it will also serve as a record of the tremendous achievements you and your family made along the way.

 

Dana McDill is the wife of NCHE’s executive director, Matthew McDill. They live in Clemmons, NC, with six (ages 17 to 8) of their nine children. Their oldest daughter is married and their two oldest boys are in college. She has been homeschooling for 19 years. She loves to come alongside and encourage moms because she knows well the challenges of the journey. She doesn’t claim to be an expert because she knows God is still refining her! She hopes some of the lessons she has learned will help you!

Jessica Frierson is a homeschool graduate and has been homeschooling her ten children since 2000. She serves as the secretary for NCHE, writes for GREENHOUSE, and is the lead blogger for the NCHE blog.

All photos by Jessica Frierson

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Lesson from the Trees: Learning to Let Go

by | Oct 18, 2022 | , , , , ,

by Jessica Frierson, October 2022

As October rolls around and the temperatures drop, the world outside my windows has become much more colorful. It’s my favorite time of year. Not only is the weather perfect (in my opinion anyway) and the fall foliage so beautiful, but I am always reminded of an important concept as I watch the trees prepare to drop their multi-colored leaves. There is a time to let go. 

All the trees are losing their leaves, and not one of them is worried.” — Donald Miller

We tend to hold onto things that should be let go. One of the saddest TV programs I have seen is the reality program, Hoarders. This show features individuals who face crises “ranging from jail time to financial ruin and loss of property” due to their unwillingness or inability to let things go. Experts work with them to solve their hoarding addiction “in the hope of reclaiming balance in their lives,” according to the show’s website.

Our homes may not be so full of accumulated boxes, papers, and to-go containers that the production crew of Hoarders is headed our way; maybe because the things that we hoard overcrowd our thoughts, our hearts, and our motivations, where they are not as visible as the items that fill the corners of our homes. Fear, doubts, unmet expectations, unresolved conflicts, anger, bitterness, guilt, jealousy, grief, hatred: these are the things that clutter the corners of our minds. They cripple us to the point that we face crises of our own if we are not willing to let them go. 

We can lock ourselves in the prisons of past mistakes while holding the key in our hand that would set us free. Being unwilling to release others when they have wronged us is another way we imprison ourselves.  Past regrets do not serve well as a ballast until we learn to unload them. The accumulation of out-of-season trappings will soon lead to a life that has lost balance. A healthy practice is to periodically take stock of any “if onlys” and “I wishes” that are hiding out in the back of our thoughts and ask God to help us let go of them, even if He has to pry them out of our tight-knuckled fingers to do it.

My son is in the Civil Air Patrol. Before heading out on a search-and-rescue mission, they are given a packing list. It is crucial that each team member brings everything on the list – and nothing else besides what is on the list. Adding additional items will make their 24-hour packs too heavy, weakening the ability to carry out the mission. How often do we undermine ourselves by carrying extra baggage that we should have released long ago? These things become burdens that weigh us down and hinder our success. 

The same principle applies to our homeschools. Sometimes the curriculum we loved for a season does not fit another. The co-op or support group that was such an encouragement and enrichment last year may not be the right place for us this year. We may have planned a graduation ceremony for our upcoming graduate in keeping with what their siblings had, only to find out that they dread being the center of attention. 

The wise king Solomon understood the value of seasons in our lives, writing in the third chapter of the book of Ecclesiastes:

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to build up,
A time to break down,
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away

As our children move through the stages of toddlerhood, elementary school, middle school, and high school, the change in seasons of education can vary as greatly as the winter snow varies from the summer drought. As they move through these seasons, we must be ready to move with them, laying down the accouterments of the past to enter the new one unhindered.

When the winds of change blow, remember… sometimes what appears dead is simply preparing
for a new season.” — Jane Lee Logan

Grasping onto those things that belong to another season will keep us from enjoying the fullness of where we are. We may have ideas of what we wanted our children to do or what we thought parenthood would be. Our lives may have gone in a different direction than what we had once thought they would. We have the choice of clinging to the loss of what once was or moving into the freshness of a new season. A fixation on the glory of bygone days will cause us to miss the beauty presently around us.

“Even as the leaves are falling, the buds of next year’s crop are already in place, waiting to erupt again in spring . . . It’s just getting on with it quietly.”
―Katherine May

One of our daughters recently received an unexpected and life-altering medical diagnosis. Even as the doctor spoke the words, I knew there were expectations in her life that would now need to be let go. Knowing that her Creator loves her even more than I ever can, I trust that God was opening a different door for her to walk through by allowing the condition the doctor was describing to us. Our faith teaches us that what we may see as the death of something is, in fact, the passage to growth and abundant living. In John 12:24-25, Jesus sets the stage for demonstrating this principle in His own life: “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”

“Anyone who thinks fallen leaves are dead has never watched them dancing on a windy day.”  ― Shira Tamir

Sometimes in life, we find ourselves on a narrow ledge with the only path forward one that requires us to let go of the relative security of the wall behind us. We must step out in faith and grasp God’s hand as He leads us on a path so shrouded in uncertainty that we cannot see the way before us. That path may be the one that leads us to homeschooling in the first place, or it may be one that calls us to continue on it even when the path becomes steep and rocky.  

A successful journey on that path requires that we let go of the things that will hinder us from thriving. Releasing them empowers us to engage fully in the vibrancy of life around us. Our clouded vision clears as we focus only on what is relevant: the path before us. Precious memories of yesteryear sweeten the experience and energize us for the race yet to come but only if relegated to their proper place. Hopes and dreams for the future draw us onward, but again, they must be held in check. The contrast between just passing by this season as you wait for the next and being fully immersed in the season of life where we are presently is the difference between looking at these photographs of beautiful leaves and taking a hike along a mountain trail with the flutter of falling leaves gently nudging your shoulders and the cool autumn breeze whispering in your ear. I don’t know about you, but I want the full experience, whatever challenges and heartaches it may bring. So, like those trees dropping their summer wardrobes, I am learning to let go.

Jessica Frierson is a homeschool graduate and has been homeschooling her ten children since 2000. She serves as the secretary for NCHE, writes for GREENHOUSE, and is the lead blogger for the NCHE blog.

Top photo credit: Sandra Cloer. Other photos: Jessica Frierson