As my oldest son was approaching thirteen years old, it was vital for me as a father to cast a vision for what the Lord desired for him in these teen years. Over a long weekend trip to Asheville, including hiking, tennis, and white water rafting, I discussed ten key topics with him that I see as outward growing concentric circles for a blessed life.
III John 4 says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” Does your child know this to be your greatest joy? This Scripture is a great place to focus as your children transition into adulthood. Beckoning them anew to walk in the ways of the Lord will impact their trajectory for a lifetime. Don’t let this special season pass by without intentionally connecting with your child and discussing this overarching question, “What is a life well-lived for the glory of God?”
These are the ten topics.
- God and the Bible
At the heart of life’s journey lies a need to embrace the Gospel and deepen our understanding of who God is and what He desires for us. Scripture exhorts us to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30-31), as it underscores the centrality of God in every aspect of our lives. Life can only be appropriately understood if we embrace the fact that we exist for His purposes and not for our own. When His desires become our desires, we can have fulfillment in life. Challenge your youth to foster a lifelong pursuit of Him so that they might grow in the discernment and understanding needed to navigate the uncertainties that lie ahead. Immersing ourselves regularly in His Word, developing a biblical worldview of the fundamental issues of life (origin, meaning, identity, morality, and destiny), and focusing on His transcendent purposes solidify one’s foundation for a lifetime.
- Time
Ben Franklin’s quote captured my imagination when I was young—“If time be of all things the most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality.” Ephesians 5:15-16 admonishes us to redeem the time, and Ecclesiastes 12:1 beckons the reader to remember the Creator in our youth. We need to exhort our young men and women to steward carefully this most precious gift and resource. I challenged my son to use this time of youth intentionally to maintain good habits, develop his mind, manage media consumption, learn various practical skills, and embrace responsibility. In a culture marked by frivolity and distraction, learning to prioritize our time and investing in pursuits that align with God’s purposes is essential for maturity.
- Family
There is no doubt that how a young person relates to his family in the present will significantly impact how they relate to a spouse and children in the future. Life skills such as developing healthy relationships, edifying communication, and conflict resolution are best learned at home when young and when the consequences of misbehavior are still small. Nurturing these foundational familial relationships now with grace, humility, and meekness will serve a young person well for a lifetime.
- Learning
School may come to an end, but education endures for a lifetime. Encourage your child to embrace this journey to be a lifelong learner! With the rapid expansion of knowledge, your child will not be able to thrive in life if learning stops upon graduation. Constant learning, applying, and aspiring opens doors for more growth and more opportunities. I also discussed pursuing a marketable online skill (Quickbooks, coding, etc.) while still in school with my son. Though college is not obligatory, we talked about three areas to consider about higher education: 1) curriculum, 2) culture, and 3) cost. Many a life has been wrecked by an ungodly curriculum, a worldly culture, or an excessive cost. Pursue the fear of the Lord as the foundation for learning and then prayerfully start planning for what types of learning (technical training, dual enrollment options, college possibilities, etc.) you think will be needed for the future.
- Church
Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5). Even so, we should teach our young men and women that God’s plan for their lives involves the church. It plays a vital role in spiritual development, healthy accountability, and mutual edification. It is God’s plan for the church to be the spiritual family that complement our natural family. The church also provides the platform for service and preparation for spiritual battle, which we find in Ephesians 6. With our young people seeing us engage the body of Christ, they see that we are not islands unto ourselves.
- Work
Work is a gift; it is a sacred calling entrusted to us by God Himself. From the beginning of creation, God ordained work as a means of stewardship, provision, and fulfillment. Instead of resisting it, young people must learn to embrace it. Colossians 3:23-24 reminds us to work heartily unto the Lord as our labor has eternal significance. You can help your teenagers to focus their energy and time so that they can explore fields of work in which they can thrive for many years within the gifts and purposes to which God has called them. It is often the case that the focus and preparation through the early twenties will determine one’s potential in life. Make the most of this season! Henry Wadsworth Longfellow aptly observed that greatness is not achieved overnight but through diligence and perseverance—”The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.” For inspiration, I also commend to you Henry van Dyke’s poem titled Work which I had to memorize in seventh grade and which has often encouraged me in life.
- Money
As I have been a CPA for over twenty-five years, I find money to be a very important topic. Cultivating wise financial stewardship is an important part of life! One’s use of money has the potential to be a tremendous blessing or a horrendous curse in life. Discuss at least these five foundational financial principles—1) be diligent, 2) increase the value you provide to others (thus growing your income potential), 3) spend less than you make, 4) be generous and honor the Lord with your wealth, and 5) invest your savings wisely. Managing real money through small jobs or allowances gives your youth opportunities to implement and experience financial lessons before they launch into life. Start making financial plans for college, a car, and a house someday. All these lessons will be invaluable. Also, learn as much as possible from Proverbs, such as Proverbs 22:4, which says “by humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” These are the underlying qualities that will truly make for an abundant life.
- Health
Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit—we need to take good care of them. It is important to steward our physical well-being. Honoring God with our bodies involves nourishing them with healthy food, maintaining regular exercise, and prioritizing rest. These habits we establish in our youth will generally carry into adulthood. Bodies also change in these teen years, and it is best for these types of discussions to be initiated by parents and not by others.
- Friends
The company we keep has a profound influence on our character and behaviors. Proverbs 13:20 and I Corinthians 15:33 make it clear that being friends with the foolish causes harm. We must emphasize the need to choose friends carefully and not just settle for any available friends. Or as I tell my children, “Be friendly with all but don’t be friends with all.” The friends of their youth will either encourage them in the paths of righteousness or wickedness. The power of influence will invariably shape their lives. Participating in Trail Life as part of our homeschooling has provided a good opportunity for us all to grow in healthy friendships and to determine the type of friends we should be. It is also good to cast a vision for a godly spouse for your child. Stress that marriage will be one of their most important decisions in life. They need to prepare themselves well for marriage and then to seek the Lord for a godly and virtuous spouse. It is also beneficial to describe a biblical way to pursue marriage that is not through the worldly dating game. Talking through what God has to say about friendships at this stage will help save your child from grief in years to come, Lord willing.
- World
The world undoubtedly wants to shape our children (Romans 12:1, 2), so it is incumbent upon us to squarely address it. Discuss ways you see the world trying to shape your family and the lives of your children, along with what God’s desires are. Your youth are entering a real spiritual battle; prepare them for it. The world may glitter, but it is passing away. Challenge your youth not to love the world but to pursue the will of God in the midst of it (I John 2:15-17). With your children, seek to be ambassadors for Christ in a broken and hurting world. By assisting your children, you can help them learn how to navigate the world with the corresponding discernment and not be ensnared by it. We don’t want to shrink from the challenges before us but address them for the glory of God and the advancement of His kingdom.
Conclusion
Yes—as you can imagine, my son and I spent quite a bit of time talking. Talk is not action, but it does lay the framework for activities and choices we will consider in the coming years. I concluded the time with my son in 1 Timothy 4:12. Here, Paul says to be an example to believers in word, conduct, love, spirit, faith, and purity. The taller the tree is going to be in life, the deeper the roots will need to be, and so, too, must young men and women invest in the foundations of character, faith, and integrity that will sustain them through a lifetime. By casting a vision grounded in the truth of God’s Word and seeking to walk in obedience to His purposes, we can help our youth navigate the complexities of this season with confidence, purpose, and hope.
I leave you and your youth with the challenge I gave to my son. Are you willing to pay the price in this season to enjoy the blessings of a lifetime?
David Beroth and his wife, Annalisa, homeschool their five children in Charlotte. David has been a CPA for over twenty-five years and has served as CFO at the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association for the last eight years. He enjoys serving the Lord, riding bikes with his children, and overspending at the annual conference vendor hall while his wife waits for him to finish his purchases!