I thought the biggest change to our homeschool in fall 2023 would be sending our oldest son off to college. Instead, three weeks later we sat in the emergency room with our youngest son and heard the dreaded news: your son has cancer.
The next two and a half years were a whirlwind of chemo treatments and hospitalizations while continuing to homeschool four children and even graduating a second child in 2025.
Perhaps no other experience could have confirmed so deeply in my heart the value of homeschooling. Another cancer mom (and fellow homeschooler) has shared with me that many in her life encouraged her to just quit homeschooling following her daughter’s diagnosis. “It’s too hard,” they said, “when you’re already dealing with so much. And is it really fair for your older children?”
Thankfully, I was able to share my story with her, and the next year she confirmed the truth I had come to know already: homeschooling during a crisis is hard, but it is also an incredible gift. We often hear it said that homeschooling is about relationships. Well, let me tell you, when you’re in the midst of a crisis, that is true ten times over! And the flexibility and ability to adjust to the needs of each individual child becomes even more valuable when so much in your life becomes incoherent and unpredictable.
Not only did I see the fruit of our years of beautiful memory work (“Death Be Not Proud” by John Donne was the first thing I remembered in the hospital), but we were able to provide our son with a true, good, and beautiful education (and a consistent social life) when other kids in his situation were facing isolation and a disconnect from their studies.
If my older children had been in a traditional school environment, we would not have had the flexibility to take days off to visit their brother in the hospital. We would not have been able to flex our schedule in ways that took advantage of happy and healthy days while providing space for the days when emotional and physical pain loomed large. Most of all, we were together. And being together during this time of suffering was the biggest gift of all.
If you or someone you know finds yourself facing a family crisis, especially one involving a sick child who requires many hospital stays, I hope the things I’ve learned over the past years encourage you that you can continue to homeschool in the midst of the hard.
Figure Out What Really Matters
First, double down on what really matters the most to your family. It was very important to me that we continued to read aloud together, memorize Scripture, sing, and just maintain some of the normalcy of our family routine. When I thought about what to keep or throw out from my homeschool plans for the year, I made my goals achievable, simple, and realistic. By deciding proactively what I was going to keep or discard from the homeschool plan, I felt more in charge of our homeschooling instead of feeling constantly behind.
Prioritize Relationships
In the midst of a family crisis, relationships matter more than ever. Homeschooling is always about relationships more than curriculum, and nothing crystallizes this in your heart like a crisis situation. It was super important to me that family relationships and emotional health were prioritized in the midst of hospitalizations and health crises. Sometimes this meant we said “not right now” to a math lesson in lieu of cuddles or an audiobook. Sometimes this meant taking time one-on-one with individual children to make sure they were not feeling overlooked in the midst of family chaos, even if all the lessons had not all been checked off for the day. Sometimes this looked like making sure our marriage stayed healthy, even when it felt tempting to put it on the back burner for a while. But however this looks in your family, I encourage you to prioritize the eternal souls in your home more than a to-do list.
Find Creative Ways to Incorporate Learning in the Midst of Hospitalizations
When a child is feeling too sick to do school in a traditional way, there are still many other ways to bring learning to the couch and even into the hospital room. Here are a few of the non-traditional ways we pursued learning on the hard days:
- Podcasts (“Kids Talk Church History,” “Nat Theo Podcast,” and “Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Poems” are a few of our favorites.)
- Audiobooks/read-alouds
- Puzzles
- Games and guilt-free educational screentime
- Educational apps (Stack the States, Stack the Countries, Chess, and Checkers are some of my son’s favorites.)
Remain flexible
Whether you’re dealing with a short term illness or a long-term change in your family, homeschooling in the midst of a crisis requires more flexibility than I thought possible. I’ve learned to hold things with a very open hand, resting in the grace of God moment to moment rather than trying to make big, huge, long-term plans.
When we were feeling more rested and well, we tried to do more formal lessons. When a day was derailed with side effects or exhaustion, I’ve learned to let it go and trust that God’s grace is sufficient in that as well. If you’re reading this in the midst of your own family’s crisis, know I’m sending a big hug and high-five your way. Rest in the character of the One who “cannot deny Himself.” And keep homeschooling, even if it looks a little (ok, a whole lot) different than you thought it would this year. Those “little drops of water, little grains of sand” are still adding up to something beautiful over time.
Homeschooling Gives Us the Gift of Time with Our Children when Each Moment of Time Feels More Precious than Ever
And this homeschool semester? Well, Isaac completed his final chemo treatment our first week back to school in January. We’re slowly navigating a new normal as he (and all of us) pursue full physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. And all those things we always said we believed about God? They’re really true. He who calls you is faithful. You can trust Him, no matter what.
An earlier version of this article originally appeared on HumilityandDoxology.com.
