Graduating a child from your homeschool is a lot like giving birth. It’s hard. It’s painful. It’s exhausting. And, at some point, you just want to quit. But then something miraculous happens. After all the blood, sweat, and tears, you gaze upon the beauty of new life, and your heart nearly bursts with love and gratitude. You are amazed that both of you lived through this God-ordained process. In those first moments, the trials of travail already begin to fade. Yes, it was the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but it was worth it. The labor is over, and the reward is sweet.
Now that spring has rounded the final corner into the month of May, graduation is in the air. For many families, the years of laboring are over, and they anticipate the bittersweet joy of crossing the finish line. This year we will graduate our youngest and last student from Garner Christian Academy. As I reflect on over two decades of homeschooling, I’d like to humbly offer my thoughts and encouragement.
For those of you graduating your first student, the day arrives with a mixed bag of emotions. Both joy and sorrow mingle as you realize the toddler from yesterday is now the young adult standing before you in cap and gown. This child that you nurtured, poured into, prayed over, and even struggled with now stands on the cusp of adulthood, and you’re not sure either of you is ready. When we graduated our oldest, there was a great sense of relief. We had both survived, and he was ready to begin his degree at our local community college, which meant he would still be at home. When our oldest daughter graduated next, however, she had plans to attend a four-year college and move into the dorms. And even though her school was only fifteen minutes away, I remember crying on and off the entire day before she left. Her absence changed the shape and feel of the nest, and our home was not the same without her.
For those who are graduating their last student, the day of commencement hits hardest. If I’m honest, I’ve been feeling the loss well ahead of the actual date of graduation. Between her early morning dual-enrollment classes, part-time jobs, going to the gym, and a busy social calendar, it has not been unusual for my daughter to be gone from 7 am to 9 pm. I thought empty nest was a next-year thing, but I’ve found it’s very much a this-year thing. The reality of what it means to be graduating our last has caught me off guard. We don’t need to register for speech club next year, we won’t be renewing our co-op membership, and I will have to officially close our school with the state. But for now, I tuck all those emotions away for another day so that I can celebrate my graduate with pride and joy. I want her to feel celebrated, loved, and encouraged to embrace her next chapter in life without feeling guilty. For homeschool moms who have spent a lifetime giving them wings, letting them fly can be a struggle.
Finally, for those of you for whom graduation is a distant thought, hang in there. Treasure the days of little people waiting impatiently for breakfast, of lost pencils and missing books, and of spontaneous field trips. Embrace and enjoy the messy days of hormones, driver’s ed, late-night talks, first jobs, and first dates. When all my young adult children, two of whom are now married, come home, it’s so much fun to hear them reminiscing about certain places, the trouble they got into, or even confessions of things they did that I never knew! The conversation is loud, the table is full, and I find myself looking at these people, my people, with wonder and gratitude. I recently told my husband, “I didn’t realize the hard days were the good days.” The labor is over, and the reward is sweet indeed.
